Hi girls.

Things are going great here... Anelise is such a precious little bubba who I just can't stop looking at! She is all giggly and cute now... I really love this stage

I am having a dilemma at the moment. I can't breast feed. I just can't. It doesn't work, Anelise hates even trying and pulls herself off my nipple so many times it just leaves me flustered and upset. I feel like I am constantly expressing and that is getting me down so much. I can't have anyone around me when I express as just a tiny bit of stress stops my flow and my nipples end up hurting... I am only able to express 150mls at a time now which is fine as that is how much Anelise has... but what about when she is drinking 250mls at a time? Urgh... I don't want to think about it.

The temptation to switch to formula is so strong right now. I selfishly would love to go back on my diet and lose my baby weight (ok, my 5 baby weight :blush but refuse to do it whilst I am expressing. I want to make it to at least 6 months but I'm not sure I will. I am really upset that breast feeding just isn't working at all for us and there doesn't seem to be anywhere I can turn to for support... I guess I have grieved for my breast feeding days and now I feel ok if I am to turn to formula... but I love knowing my baby girl is thriving on my breast milk! Arghhhhh! See my dilemma?

Annie also has reflux so we're using the karicare thickener stuff... but she seems to be so unsettled afterwards that I think there may be more to it, so I will need to take her to the Dr also.

Annie also gets her first lot of immunisations done tomorrow... I am sooooooooo glad DH will be here to hold my hand when it happens!