If you can't see the hemorrhoid, then maybe you have an anal fissure, which can be hideously painful. I would go see a GP and get a diagnosis as they can give you prescription treatments to help.
I was in similar pain following the birth of my DD, and started to incorporate prunes, fresh dates and dried apricots into my diet immediately and also worked on increasing water consumption. These things got me through the worst of it without needing any other laxatives.
I really feel for you- hope things start to improve for you quickly.