If you are BF it can really really hurt! You need to get lots of lube or there's a hormone cream that you can get from the OB.
I had 2 c/s and honestly it hurt for months just because of the friction so it may not be the stitches. Your DH needs to take it really slow and make sure you are ready.
Sweetie - full commisserations, I have totally BTDT.
The good news is, your body *will* heal!! It may take some time, a trip to the dr or two, and maybe some vaginal oestrogen, but you will get there!
In my case, DD was 6 months old when we finally moved into an area where I could see a *good* dr, and when I did she explained that the low oestrogen levels from BFing makes the vuhjay tissues thinner, more brittle and prone to damage - and for that reason the tears hadn't really healed properly. It was amazing the difference the vaginal oestrogen made.
The issue isn't so much in the lube dept more like the outer lip area that has been stitched too far from back to front itms ....... i have a 1cm over lip that wasn't there before ... like a veranda for lack of a better description we couldn't get past the veranda without really intense pain - and me worrying about tearing the stitched area open.
Will i go back to normal? should i just push through the pain barrier at least once? I just feel like such a failure where i have never had a confidence issue before.
This is one time I would not be trying to 'push through the pain barrier'. See your doctor & ask for a gynae referral - I'm sure they will be able to help you.
Oh honey......i tell you my first time back was less than pleasant.
TMI******
Can i suggest maybe being the jockey may not be the best position to start back in? I did the same thing and it was way way way too bad........however....back to good old missionary with DH being so parellel we were almost touching and the pain was barely there. Obviously it wasn't pulling on anything. Also the good old KY came to the party with a ****tail to help me through
Take your time - your certainly not the only one to experience this. It still is awful for me....and my libido is non-existant now anyway....what can you do
Everyone here had given you such good advice already.
Maybe try with you on top first, that way you can control the speed and the degree of penetration.
Lots of lube,
But most importantly is take it slow, maybe dont do penetration the first few times, just play?
Sex is so much more than the physical thing, your emotional and mental state impact on it, and having a baby and all that goes with it is easily enough to impact on all parts of it.
*hugs* it will get easier just takes time.
I had almost identical to what you're describing after giving birth to DS1. My ex & I tried different positions and the only one that was 'bearable' was from behind. After a while it became fine to use other positions and everything has been fine ever since.
I hope you find a solution that works for you & your DH
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It's devastating now but it will get better.
we couldn't get past the veranda without really intense pain - and me worrying about tearing the stitched area open.
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