CM - I am so sorry for your loss. Words cannot express the pain and trauma you've been through and are still going through. The pain will feel overwhelming, but unfortunately we can't rush through it. Cry, talk, write, walk, scream, sleep, do whatever you need to get through each day. The memorial is so beautiful, I hope it helps to ease the pain a bit.

Can you take sick leave as well as compassionate leave? I wouldn't have thought you'd be physically able to work, let alone emotionally. Try to take at least a week off work. I know it will be hard financially, but you need to rest from the trauma. Did they assess you for shock?

Can you go to your GP? GPs can refer you to a psychologist - you can get up to 6 sessions covered by Medicare. It could be beneficial for you if someone could monitor your mental health while you're going through this. The loss is bad enough, the circumstances you had to endure made it so much worse and will take time to come to terms with. I imagine your DH is traumatised too.

The hospital sounds appalling (& if it's the one I'm thinking off, they have a poor history). When you feel up to it, you might want to complain to the Dept of Health - it's another example of incompetence in hospitals regarding pregnancy loss.

Once again, I am so so sorry.