Hi Mel, I am so sorry to hear about your friends little girl What a tragic thing to happen. She is lucky to have a friend like you around. It sounds like you did everything she needed you to do at the funeral, especially having one last hold of her precious one. I know it made me very proud that people still wanted to give Nicholas a cuddle.

From my experience I found that we were surrounded by people in the lead up to his funeral, during and also immediately after. It was after that time that things got tough. People seemed to get on with life and didnt come around, didnt ring as much, but yet my DH and I were still very much in need of support. So I would agree that she probably needs you now more than ever. Even now, more than a year later, I still appreciate the people who ask how we are doing and genuinely want to know and not just hear the standard good thank you answer - we still need support. The things I found have stuck in my memory the most is that a couple of people would organise to come over and they would bring me all this meals to put in the freezer because they knew I wouldnt be up to cooking. At the time I would say oh you shouldnt have or maybe in some small way I felt like people pitied me but honestly in hindsight I am so appreciative of what they did for us and still dont know if they realise how much it meant. Also the people who would just come and sit with me, and even if I wasnt up to talking that was ok we would just sit. Maybe text or call her and organise to go and see her, it probably wouldnt be the best idea to drop around unannounced cause I found I got embarrassed by that - sometimes I wouldnt have had a shower or done anything around the house. If she insists that she doesnt want to see anyone, just maybe say ok well can I call you tomorrow to see how you are.

Please give your friend lots of :hugs: from everyone here at BB. To lose a child and have to experience a funeral, and lifetime ahead without them, is just too painful for words to describe.

Keep up the good word, even if you feel like your efforts are unnoticed at the moment - in time she will remember who was there for her. I know I do.

Love Mel