Hi Nicole

i am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beautiful baby boy your story made me cry and bought back some memories of my situation. i dont know if this helps but i no how you feel when you say you feel guilty i had to make a hard descion i was 20wk pregnant and i went to my 20 wk scan to find out my little girl had bilateral multicystic dysplastic kidneys and no bladder and some other internal problems and i was told that i had to make the descion to carry on with pregnancy which meant i could either go into prem labour and loose baby or i might get to full term and baby would be born in alot of pain and would die within secounds or terminate the pregnany there and then and the thought of it hurt me so much but there was no way she would have survived so i had to have an injection into her heart to stop it then 3 days later was induced so i had her at 23 wks as i had some secound opinons to make sure and i feel so guilty and cant help but think what if i had carried on with the pregnany and she would have been fine although i no she wouldnt have been i still cant help but think it i think the worst thing was having the injection into her heart i felt like running away i felt like i should have protected her from all the docs and told them that they couldnt touch me or her sorry to go on about my story i just think it helps knowing people have been through similar things. please be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve its a long and hard process and having family friends and this site will help you get through the down days i am always hear to talk sending you a big i just want to say you are such a brave person and you have made the right desicion take care of yourself honey.

Munchy xxx