Hi everyone,

About nine years ago I lost a baby very early in pregnancy - it was an unexpected pregnancy in a not so good situation so I wasn't overly worried.

My husband and I have tried to have a baby in the last year, and in March I had another miscarraige early on (about 6-7 weeks). I went through the initial anger, sadness etc and thought I was okay. Except that I think I am subconsciously scared to try again.

Recently I have been talking with my husband about international adoption and going on about it - he (being the wonderful intuitive guy he is) asked me if I was keen on adoption because I was scared - I realised he was spot on. I am scared. I am scared of not getting pregnant, of getting pregnant and losing it, of getting pregnant and having a still birth - everything. Adoption I guess seemed less risky.

How do I get through these feelings? I know there are so many things out of control with pregnancy and birth, but I feel like if I lost another one I would be disappointing people - my husband, parents. I know in my mind this is not so, but its still there in my heart.

I also feel silly and a little ashamed because I lost my baby so early and so many women lose their's much later in pregnancy - surely mine isn't that much of a loss. It's all such foreign territory to me. I don't know what I should be feeling, but I don't like what I am feeling, but I don't know what to do about it.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated...

Kate