Kate, I am so sorry for your losses It is so understandable to be scared about trying again. Your fears are so normal and what every mother to an angel baby feels when thinking about TTC again.

I don't know if there is an easy answer to how do you get through the feelings. Acknowledge your feelings, scream, cry, do whatever you need to do. All I say is how I felt. I have a dream of being a mummy to an earth baby and I will do anything to get to that dream. We have struggled for a long time to have a baby and still find it hard to see me holding my own (breathing) baby, but I take one day at a time, one week at a time and don't look any further. Find a good carer, one who understands your fears and will take every step with you.

I am absolutely terrified of losing another baby and like you disappointing the people around me. When I lost Cooper I felt like I had failed him, my husband and our families - I couldn't protect my baby like a mother should.

Don't ever feel silly or ashamed because you have had early losses. A loss of a baby at any stage is devastating. You lose all the hopes and dreams you had for that baby.

Just know that your fears are normal, normal for a grieving mother. Only you will know what you are ready, but when you are, we will all be here to help you every step of the way.

Take care :hugs: