Thankyou, ladies. Really, thankyou. Thankyou for reading and sending the love, I feel much better after typing all of that and hearing what you all had to say. I of course still feel horrible, but better than before. I guess it was just building and building up and I had to let some of it go, KWIM? I'm taking a few weeks off work, at least until after Emily's due date comes around, and my fiancee and I have decided on that day, to have a small ceremony in the park with some close friends & family.
Thankyou for your throughts and prayers, and I send mine back to all of your angel babies too. xoxo
Hun, taking time off work is a good idea I think. I took 6 weeks off work (I was lucky as I have plenty of long service leave) and it was the best thing I did. Mum was on my case after 3 weeks to go back to work as she thought I just sat there feeling sorry for myself, but i just couldn't cope with work, with anyone really. Then I started to feel a bit like my old self and I actually started to feel a little bit bored, and then I knew I was ready to face my work mates and my customers. I work in customer service, so I just coudn't imagine answering the phone calls all cheery and happy when I wasn't.
Hun, please don't feel horrible, be kind to yourself. You are still grieving and that will take some time. When people stop grieving too soon, or just don't grieve at all (they hide their feelings and are in denial) it's so much worse as the grief does catch up to them at some later stage. It could be a few months or even years later.
Hun, one day at a time, little steps, might be one step forward and two steps back for a while, but you will get there. And you'll find happiness again, and your heart will mend.
Take care lovely, you are a very strong person to survive what you did, and seek support from others which is so very important. If it wasn't for the beautiful girls here on BB who have supported me through my own loss, I don't think I would be where I am today.
Mhm, I really do hate feeling horrible like this, but I'm stuck as to how to stop it? I guess it'll die down a bit after a while. When Emily died, the only time I took off was to recover from the injuries in the car accident, so I never really grieved properly so I put it away and now it's come out, like you said beata70, a few months later.
I hope things will get back to normal - well feel normal thankyou so much!
Hun, you're feeling horrible because you're still feeling the guilt, plus you are now grieving for Emily all these months late like you said. Have you spoken to a grief councellor or someone from Sands or even Sids and Kids? Sands in particular, have people who can talk to you and understand where you're coming from as every peron there has had a loss themselves, be it a miscarriage, still birth or neo natal death. I would highhly reccommend that you speak with someone like this hun, as it feels so much better to be speaking to someone who has gone through a similar experience. I started seeing a psychologist 3 weeks after I lost Joshua and I still see her to this day. I can't tell you how much she has helped me. I went to my local GP who wrote me a refferal so the sessions are a part of a government founded scheme. There are free councillors around too (like Sands and Sids) who are excellent.
Hun, don't carry all this grief by yourself. There are a lot of people out there that can help you through it, and they really understand.
And you know we are all here for you too, anytime you want to talk hun.
Take care & big hugs
Beata xxxxx
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