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Thread: I would have been due.....

  1. #1

    Default I would have been due.....

    Next week would have been my due date for the little angel that I misscarried in June. I keep finding myself wondering how 'big' I would have been and wondering how I would have coped with the birth and on and on I go. I am feeling very sad and wondering if I will ever be blessed with an angel to hold in my arms. DH and I will be spending the day together to remember our little angel and to say goodbye to what could have been. I have really only just started feeling good again in the last month or so, and now I have this next hurdle to get over. I need to try and stay positive and hopeful that one day I will achieve my dream of being a Mum. How did you cope when it came to what would have been your due date?


  2. #2

    Join Date
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    I can't offer any words of wisdom I'm afraid, but just wanted to give you huge
    My sister is currently going through the same thing. I just try to be there for her when she needs me.

  3. #3

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    Big hugs Mrs K

    my first mc baby was due june 8 last year. didnt really cope, just bought myself a bottle of wine and went home and cried.
    my second angel was due this oming june, on the15th.
    dont know how i am going to get through that week this year. not looking forawrd to it!

    big hugs, and take care

    hopefully you get your little bundle soon!

  4. #4

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    Hi MrsK,

    Today is my due date for the bub that wasn't meant to be. Like you, I have only just started feeling 'better' over the last month or so, and now feel like i'm on a downward spiral again. I just feel very numb right now. And to make matters worse, I just found out my sister in law is pregnant, and I also have 3 close friends that are all pregnant. You just can't escape it!

    Tonight I am going to light a candle next to the little box where I keep the BFP stick. This is my way of reflecting and honouring my angel baby.

    All I can say is there is no right or wrong way to deal with this. You just have to do whatever feels right for you.

    Dee xoxo

  5. #5

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    MrsK, firstly a big for you. I havent reached my due dates yet but dh and i have a holiday booked for when my first would have been (june 1). I know i didnt want to be at home surrounded by things i wanted and didnt have. I will probably light a candle also and say a little prayer.

    I hope you find a way to help you grieve on your due date. It's such a sad thing to have to do. Take care

  6. #6

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    Mrs K - I found the lead up to the anniversary worse than the actual day. That isn't to say the day was easier but it felt like a day of closure. There were no more "I should be xx weeks pregnant" just an emptiness about what we had lost. Take the time to be together. I lit candles and bought flowers whose fragrance brought back memories - both good and bad on her EDD. Some people release balloons. Others bake cakes. On her first birthday we were pregnant and it was such a bittersweet time. I cried for what I had lost and the fear of what I was going to experience again. For her birthday this year we went to the beach, ate prawns and watched the waves roll in with our son.

    I have no doubt that each birthday will be hard but it does get somewhat easier with the passing of time. Just a hole in your heart that will forever remain

  7. #7

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    Hey Mrs K, today is the EDD of my angel baby I lost last May. Although, very fortunately, I am pregnant, today was still upsetting.

    I hope you are blessed very soon.

    xo

  8. #8

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    Hi MrsK
    Huge hug for you and DH, it is something that I have never forgotten and I don't think I ever will, their due dates are stuck in my memory forever. My Angels will always be in my heart and I will never forget each one of them but it does get easier. I agree with Michelle, the lead up is the hardest part.
    I too am pregnant again and getting closer and closer to delivery so take heart that there is a light at the end of this dark road.
    Take care of you.

  9. #9

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    I was pregnant again by the time my first due date came around from my m/c's of last year so that eased the pain somewhat. I did still find it hard but kept busy at work so I didn't dwell on it. I found the day after harder as it was the weekend and I saw pregnant women and babies everywhere I went and I really struggled.... all I could think was that should be me now - well advanced, not just starting again.... and imagining that I would miscarry again at any time.

    Anyway, you just have to keep the faith that you will be successful again. I didn't think I ever would, but here I am at 16 weeks - you too will get there.

  10. #10

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    Mrs K - firstly hugs to you sweety, I know I was a total wreck leading up to the edd of my first angel, I even got some counselling to help me through that week. On the actual day, I wrote a poem on a balloon and me and dh let it go in our back yard. I found that really helped me to let go and from that day i felt I could move on. I had one more early m/c and then concieved my daughter. You need to have, as Satya said, and you got to believe that you will be a mummy to an earth baby soon. Sending you lots of big hugs and wishing that you have a sticky little bean soon.

    Lisa

  11. #11

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    I'm so sorry for your pain. Sending you a cyber hug and keeping you in my prayers.
    After my third miscarriage, I went into a state of emotional numbness, never really greiving properly, never crying. I threw myself into all sorts of activities to avoid thinking about it. But last Feb, when the due date came and went, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Everything annoyed me, everything got on my nerves. Then by the middle of March I found myself surrouned by newly pregnant women and for the first time in eight months actually broke down and cried. That was the beginning of healing for me. I decided to drop out of my activities and forums, focus on real life a little more and made the decisision to TTC again.
    I was very dysfunctional and I don't recommend it.

  12. #12

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    Hi there Mrs K - so very sorry for your loss.

    On the first anniversary Of My little Thomas' due date we left the country- I couldn't bear to be at home when I should have bringing my little boy home in my arms. The distraction was quite helpful, although I spent the day in reflection and lit a candle at Westminster abbey in remembrance. On the 2nd anniversary, which was last week, we decided to let his ashes go into the ocean, which was good closure for me.
    I tyotally agree with the ladies here that when you are grieving a lost baby, everyone around you, in the shops etc seems to be pregnant or have a baby! It is so hard and noone can understand unless they have been through it. I really hope you get through the dd ok and best wishes for a successful pg in the future

    big hugs

  13. #13

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    Sweety i wish i could give you a big hug....im dreading Feb 19, thats my angels due date. I know i didnt cope very well when my first m/c came around, and im hoping and praying that i cope a little better this time around. I hope and pray that i may be pregnant by then but its not looking promising. I guess all i can say is dont try to get through the day without thinking about it, do something that gives you time to reflect, about your angel and about how far you have come since your loss. I truly believe that i will meet my angel babies when i pass and that for the moment they are guiding me throughout my life and that really helps me get past the days that are really bad.

    look after you hun
    treelo

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