Hi there, I am so sorry your FIL upset you today Some people are insensitive, they have no understanding what so ever of what it is like to lose and baby and therefore just dont relate what happens to other people to what happened to us - because our babies didnt live they musnt count?????? And your SIL should be ashamed of herself! Thomas is her family and it is unforgivable that she would make a comment to you as if he never existed. I am sorry for these ignorant people but really that is exactly what they are - ignorant... I often wonder how these people would cope if the same thing happened to them? How would they feel to have themself or their baby completely disregarded? Hopefully for their sake they never find out.

I had a girl at work recently tell me about her "poor" friend who just had gave birth to a baby at 36 weeks and he is in special care because he is "so prem" and her friend who had a c sect and was a little worse for wear was stuck in bed and how traumatic it was for her because she was a mother but couldnt see her baby and she actually said to me "can you imagine anything worse?". In my head I was thinking well yeah actually how about being a mother but having their baby in an urn in their living room for eternity??? In the end I just said well the baby was born at 36 weeks so thats not really that prem and at least both her and her baby will survive. She said "yeah true but how awful for them". I shouldnt have been surprised, after hearing me talk about Nicholas the same girl said "oh did he have a name" and on another occasion said "hey did you get a baby bonus" and when I said yes she asked why, um is the fact we had to pay for a funeral not deserving of the baby bonus???

Anyway, sorry again - you have every right to feel hurt by your FIL (and SIL) and I pat you on the back for having the strength to say you dont want to hear about it. Unfortunately in these situations I generally freeze and dont know what to say.

Big :hugs: to you.