arrrggg! it isn't just you. most folks seem to put aside grief and memory of any pain as quickly as possible and can say the most brutal things. they sometimes even think that if they remember our babies, that we might be forced to remember them too -- as if we will ever forget. our society is against us as well, teaching that grief is a process to "get over" the loss and replace it with new attachments. as if a parent can replace a child with anything else -- sort of like asking an amputee to replace his or her limb. it isn't going to happen. i'm like mel - i usually freeze when folks say things to me, and then let them fester in my brain for too long after. but, then i usually have a good retort to folks the next time that same comment comes around. big hugs to you.