Hi everyone,
Thankyou all so much for your support, and for sharing your stories with me.
And thanks for pointing out that it doesnt matter that I was early on in the pregnancy, and that Im allowed to feel like this.
I survived the ultrasound, it was hard but the ultrasound tech was nice this time (she wasnt last time).
I ended up making a bead thing to hang from my lamp, as a memorial sort of thing - I got a flower bead, and from that hung a little blue gem the size of what the baby was, and under that a silver heart with a gem inset into it, to represent that I will always hold this baby in my heart.
Im having a better day today, mainly because Im feeling a little better - I think Ive got an infection, because ive got headaches, nausia, and a pain in my apendix area. But today mum came over, made me eat something and watch a movie, and dosed me up on panadol, which helped. Ive got a docs appt tommorow, so Im sure if I do have an infection he'll give me something for it.