I endured 3 early miscarriages and birthed 3 babies that were sleeping around 16 weeks. I was treated by the midwives that cared for me at Selangor Private Hospital in Nambour with respect and compassion.
I have heard many stories from other women that were not treated respectfully - I am compiling some information and would like the input of women who would share their experiences with me.
I will not share your stories in any part without your full consent - I am trying to gather information to highlight the sometimes unsupported manner that women experience their loss. I am especially interested in gathering information on the Qld Public system - however if you are not from Qld please feel free to share also.
I believe the government needs to be lobbied to fund more research into miscarriage and stillbirth AND the care of women who endure this pain.
I had a d and c at the gold coast hospital for a blighted ovum that wouldnt budge on its own and was treated terribly by ward staff, theatre staff were brilliant. I am a nursing student myself and had even had training on the ward next to it and recognised faces but i was disgusted. Im only 21 and was treated like it didnt matter because i was so young and i have plenty of time but they didnt know i had been trying with my partner for 14 months! I didnt get any pre op info or post op info. i never got a follow up appointment or even saw a doctor or ob to get some info all i got was a consent form with a few risks on it. I never got a letter for my gp! i was in and out within 8 hours and as i walked past the nurses station not one of them got out of there chair and acknoledged me as I left. I got no communication and after i had been waiting for 2 hours in the hospital bed my partner decided to ask when i was supposed to go down for the procedure and the nurse said "dont you know your on a waiting list, when there is a spot then you can go" i was never told this! i thought it had been booked i then waited another 2 hours wanting to get this thing out of me as i was so distressed. No one even offered to cut of my wrist tag as i left. im still furious about this and have learned more there on how to be a great nurse then 3 years of uni!
Before my daughter was born I experienced a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks. I was told I had to go into the RWH in Brisbane the following day to have a D&C. I was never given the option to go home and wait it out and being completely naive at the time I just did it.
This sort of experience is obviously pretty awful no matter where you go through it but I will never forget how alone I felt that day and how horrible it was. I fronted up to the ward at 7am not knowing what was going to happen or how long it would take.
About 10am I saw someone and they admitted me and gave me some gels to soften my cervix up. I began cramping and spotting a bit and I was just crying the whole time. At about 1pm they took me into theatre and I had the D&C, and as soon as I opened my eyes I started crying again knowing my baby was gone.
I was put on the maternity ward with heavily pregnant women and newborns which was just beyond insensitive...listening to women labour and babies cry all afternoon. I know this isn't unusual and happens in alot of hospitals and I think is one of the things they really need to look at in their handling of miscarriage and stillbirth.
Anyway at about 9 that evening I finally discharged myself because basically I'd been forgotten about. Took me a very long time to come to terms with that loss
I had another missed miscarriage after my daughter and was treated in the private system - there was such a difference. I was in and out relatively quickly and never went near a maternity ward. A much less traumatic experience.
Last edited by Tobily; October 9th, 2008 at 04:02 PM.
: bad spelling
My first loss was at 10 weeks. I too had a blighted ovum.. the Us staff, Nurses and other hospital staff were very lovely.. I had no problems..
My 2nd loss was at 10 weeks as well, We went for a routine Us only to be told the bad news.. Same as before but this time there was a little baby in there that had died the week before. The place I got my US dne at the staff were wonderful.. They sat with me till I stopped crying then escorted us over to the hospital. Taking us the back ways so I didn't have to face anyone..
The hospital however The Dr who came down to see me, he was a OB. His bedside manner was terrible.. I was almost beyond hysterical.. I really didn't cope well with the news and he just stood there not saying anything. When I calmed down enough to ask questions such as would they do testing he said no you have to lose 3 before we do that.. I explained my reasoning behind wanting testing and yet he still wouldn't budge. We went home and had to come back the following day for the d&c. That went as smoothly as you expect and I was glad not to have to see that Dr again. 5 days later I was at home when I started bleeding heavily. the cramps were so bad. My husband came home from work and took me back to the hospital. to cut a long story short. they didn't do the d&c properly. so I basically miscarried. When it was happening though we didn't realise. The emergency Dr I had was so brilliant. He stayed with me when I was all crampy and was trying his best to work out what was wrong.. He tried to hurry up the US (if it had been done when he requested we would have got 100% confirmation that the d&c was not done fully) I went to the toilet passed an incredible amount of blood and clots( sorry for tmi) About half hour later i went for my Us and of course my uterus was empty. anyways The Dr wanted to admit me but I cried so much cus I wanted to go home with my boys. he sent me home with strict instructions to rest rest rest and wanted me back at the hospital by 9am.. At 8am I got a phone call from the actual Dr asking how I was and was I coming back up. When we got there he took us right out the back and talked to us.. he was just lovely. My GP was also great!
Hope thats what you wanted to know.. the hosp i was treated at both times does not have a good reputation.. I did not have my living babies in this town. We chose to travel out of town...
i went to my GP as i had been bleeding for 2 weeks. She referred me to an OB/GYN as a public patient (he practiced privately and publicly..not sure how this works...). So i went down there that day expecting to be told that the pill i was on just needed changing.
he told me to get up on the table as he would do an internal ultrasound to check things out.
he looked at the screen and told me that i was having a m/c at 8 weeks. he wiped my belly and went over to his desk to write something down and told me to get dressed. i just lay there for awhile trying desperately to curb the shame and sadness that i felt at first not realising that i was pregnant and that i was losing a baby that i know DH and I would have loved and wanted had we known. i got up and stood there for what felt like an eternity and finally had to ask him what i had to do from here. he looked up surprised that i was still there and told me there was nothing to be done. that i would have to pass the baby for the next couple of months that's it. i was devastated. the way he looked at me as though i were asking such a silly, uneducated question. so i left his rooms and saw all these gorgeous brimming bellies and just burst into tears. my DH (DP at the time!) was waiting in the room and had no idea what was going on. i signed the stupid paperwork (the staff didnt even look at me). the OB came out and said in a normal talking voice so that everyone there could hear that i was a m/c and to charge me accordingly and explained the rebate that i would get as a public patient (the 'oh you dont have insurance' question was asked).
it took a good 2 months for everything to clear re the m/c. but soon after i had further complications as there was retained material and endo had come into the picture. and it was later diagnosed that the inaction on the m/c caused me the fertility issues that i had later.
Overall, it was a really awful experience. the handling of the OB and the staff at the hospital was really insensitive. as though i was not worth their time as my baby had died.
Firstly sorry to everyone who has had such bad experiences with Obs, Drs, nurses and medical staff.
I need to start off but saying I was wrong to have judged Male Obs so harshly, I was narrow minded. You will find out why later!
Back in 2006 I got pg I called my Private Ob (same ob that delivered my daughter in 2001) and made an appointment (12 weeks) , I started bleeding at around 7 weeks and being a Sunday I went to Hospital (all a-holes) anyway they were not too sure what was going on it took about 5 weeks for the Drs to work out that I had a Blighted Ovum. My Ob rings me up and says ? I have received all the records from hospital and things like that, I have cancelled your appointment to see me because that appointment is more use to someone else? I said ? What do you mean? Ob said ? Well someone whose baby is alive. I am free in Thursday to do a D & C, I?ll get my sectary to contact to arrange for this thing to be dealt with, and she will also advise you on the costs associated with it?. Fighting with all my might not to cry on the phone I said ?I?ll get back to you?. Got off the phone and cried my eyes out, how could my Ob treat me like this. What really hurt me was that My Ob was a female (only wanted a female), I thought that if anyone would treat me like this it would a Male Ob not a female.
I never called the Ob back, I rung up the Public Hospital John Hunter Hospital I spoke to a really caring and compassionate nurse, I told her everything and she said she would talk to the doctors and arrange an appointment. To fast forward I did have a d & c done at the JJH and the medical staff that I dealt with was really wonderful.
I would never again recommend that Female Ob to people I know. 2007 I got pg again and this time it did not bother me to have a male ob. I had 2 different Male Obs during the pregnancy (due to moving) both of the male Obs were very kind, caring and took the time to explain things to me.
Take care
Mumma_lion
first loss @ 7-8weeks suspected ectopic, after about 2 weeks of HCG testing I was told most likely ectopic, so we have 3 options, all required me to stay in town (200kms from home) montior with b/t, methotextrate injection, surgery...I was told method 1 was dangerous, so to choose one of the others I chose the injection, I was then whisked downstairs with a nurse to collect injection then take ot pallative care unit, I was like why am I here, nobody explained it was a chemo drug until the nurse was adminastring the drug I was then sent to my mums to wait it out...no explaination of what to expect ... all worked out in the end pg resolved quite quickly
second pg the induction of our Katy @ 21 weeks due to anencephaly ( I truly beleive had I been informed of the risks of injection for first loss we would not have lost Katy to this NTD) we went for our 20 week scan so excited at finding out what we were having, the scan was taking a while then another dr came in, looked at screen we were asked to wait outside I had no idea anything was wrong I did think maybe d/s it crossed my mind, we were then led into a office and told our GP would be ringing...no-one said anything to us (private hosp scan place) my GP gets on ph his first words were I'm so sorry your baby is not viable I literallyt collapsed in tears and my husband had to hear we had ot meet with a OB that day...they rang the public hospital we were told to go to A/E again other than it was something to do with her head we didn't know what was happening...we rock up to A/E we were then taken to maternity we still had no idea what was happening just that our baby wasn't goign to live, the OB came in and was like ok this is what is happening we will induce your pg, we were like woah!!! hold up...he then explained what was worng and I was like your not touching me or my baby, we went home to think, research find any info, we saw our GP the next day who explained everything he was wonderful, he sent us to councelling where we eneded up comforting the woman as she had birthed twins s/b @31 weeks 20 years earlier, in the end due to my declining health I had lost 10kgs while pg from being so sick we made that heart breaking choice, I must admit the OB was wonderful he was head of maternity and he doesn't normally do any day to day stuff his lackies do it all but he dealt with us himself we had the one m/w she was nice until I gave birth then she scooped my little girl up put her in a petire dish and showed her to us, with oh I thinks its a girl..and then left
ok be back later I am sitting here in tears thinking of all the things she could have doen to make that moment so much less horrible
Rach I am so sorry - I too am in tears reading your post. I am just so sorry that that midwife didn't feel the honour it was to be with you as you courageously birthed your Katy. I am sorry...
Hi, we lost our son at 23+5wks in April, BUT I have to say I received WONDERFUL support and care from most of the staff at the MATER MOTHERS (public) at Southbank. The only time when I look back on things now was the first OB I seen on getting to the hospital was very straight down the line, with not much softness at all, but in saying that it really jolted me into a harsh realization my baby at 23+3wks (at the time of admission) was really too early for a life on earth. I think in that way it helped me deal with the loss when it came, a bit better than probably giving me heaps of positives and then having to lose him. I still question whether I should have pushed the issue and told them to try and save him (their policy is no resuscitation before 24wks)but that is me just wanting to have my baby with me no matter what the cost, and that isn't always fair in the long run. I was part of a midwifery team and my midwife was there whenever I needed her, visited me at home a few times up until 12wksand would have been more if I needed that. I am now 6weeks pregnant and have just submitted my referrals to go back there, crossing everything I own that this time it will work out.
Miscarriage and Stillbirth in Qld Public System
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The Dr who came down to see me, he was a OB. His bedside manner was terrible.. I was almost beyond hysterical.. I really didn't cope well with the news and he just stood there not saying anything. When I calmed down enough to ask questions such as would they do testing he said no you have to lose 3 before we do that.. I explained my reasoning behind wanting testing and yet he still wouldn't budge. We went home and had to come back the following day for the d&c. That went as smoothly as you expect and I was glad not to have to see that Dr again. 5 days later I was at home when I started bleeding heavily. the cramps were so bad. My husband came home from work and took me back to the hospital. to cut a long story short. they didn't do the d&c properly. so I basically miscarried. When it was happening though we didn't realise. The emergency Dr I had was so brilliant. He stayed with me when I was all crampy and was trying his best to work out what was wrong.. He tried to hurry up the US (if it had been done when he requested we would have got 100% confirmation that the d&c was not done fully) I went to the toilet passed an incredible amount of blood and clots( sorry for tmi) About half hour later i went for my Us and of course my uterus was empty. anyways The Dr wanted to admit me but I cried so much cus I wanted to go home with my boys. he sent me home with strict instructions to rest rest rest and wanted me back at the hospital by 9am.. At 8am I got a phone call from the actual Dr asking how I was and was I coming back up. When we got there he took us right out the back and talked to us.. he was just lovely. My GP was also great!
why am I here, nobody explained it was a chemo drug until the nurse was adminastring the drug 
I was then sent to my mums to wait it out...no explaination of what to expect ... all worked out in the end pg resolved quite quickly
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