I would think about making a formal complaint about your boss. Hmm not sure who to, depends on whether you're in the private or public sector. Maybe the anti discrimination commissioner? her behaviour is abhorrent and the sooner you blow that popsicle stand the better. And once you do, issue that complaint! Her behaviour is just not acceptable! She clearly has no ounce of humanity in her.
Hope your cycle comes back real quick. Mine always have. How long did yours take to come back after you gave birth of your DS's? That might give you a guide. But also the emotional stresses of grief can also wreak havoc on your hormones.
As an aside, can't believe your eldest DS is 17 this year. My friend's eldest is 17 this year and she can't beleive it. He's such a great young man too. Has his moments, but somewhere in all that adolescent angst and attitude is a really nice young man.
Hi dory,
Thanks for your support re mad boss, the stress isn't too good.
After the boys my cycle didn't start again until I stopped feeding about 4 months! Can't wait that long, think it will be soon, shame about the lost egg though. It's been 5 weeks since I lost the bub, a friend of mine told me it may be another week or so.
Don't feel pmt like and my BB's have got bigger, but that could just be a thing. I did POAS today, BF-, but it could be too early as we have been trying like mad, lots of fun!
I think I may have written my big DS dates wrong, he is 13 in two weeks, still feel I can't believe it! Hormones are kicking in with him now, don't we know it.
I will wait another couple of weeks and if nothing then ring GP to have BHCG test. No 4 was conceived after a series of late AF's, very early losses, and he didn't show up positive until I was 14 wks pregnant! I may have had my share of miracles already.
On the work front, have requested everything in writing now, I'm a teacher, so it gets really wierd, she is certifiable just wish we could all sort it out. Going to be union rep next term - gonna kick butt!!
Oh my gosh.... your boss is absolutely monstrous. Mine was, too.... she said a lot of unenlightened things, and gave me one day off afterwards to grieve. How generous. I spent the next week or so finishing my mc at work, with an audience of 10 other women all looking at me with pity. It was awful. I feel your pain.
I too wear a baby ring, and I really do find it comforting. I hope yours provides you with some kind of peace.
Best of luck in TTC again, and I am so sorry you went through this. my heart aches for you.
Hello again,
Forshelby, thanks for your wishes, why do 'bosses' think that they are more important than losing a little one?
Anyway, DH got the new job, though whether he will actually be home enough to enable us to TTC is anyones guess! so far we have had 10 mins together and that was in the lorry with two kids! Never mind, I am sure that when the time is right it will happen.
Thanks Forshelby, strangely enough she told me she had lost three babies, I do worry about her though. she has suddenly gone 'sick' for an indeterminate time, it's possible her reaction has been something else altogether.
Mummylion - Sometimes for some women who have experienced loss, it seems to break something in them and they don't seem to be able to empathise with other women who have experienced loss. Maybe its just they way they cope? They harden their heart? I am still sorry that you had to endure behaviour that was unacceptable from your boss. I am glad that however as she is away that you are not faced with the daily task of dealing with her. Her problems are hers, don't you let yourself worry about them. Right now, you are the most important person for you to concentrate on.
Hi dory,
Soldiering on. DH is now away 5 out of 7 days makes ttc very difficult! I had a horrendous AF last month, even had to get tablets from the doctor! Had 1 +ve test and 3 -ve tests so no idea if it was another mc or my hormones going bonkers.
On a brighter note, work is much happier at the moment, so that's a big stress gone for the mo. Even my DS is enjoying school more which is saying something for a grumpy teenager!
I hope that everything is OK with you
I am surrounded with ladies due the same time my little one was, which is hard, but they are all very understanding. I keep wondering when the pain will ease, soon I hope.
I am seeing my Thyroid specialist next week and am asking his advice re getting me ovulating again.
Thanks for being there,
Mummylion
Mummylion - pity about Dh being away so much but good to here that things are much easier for you at work and there are some understanding women there.
Grief is such a hard and demanding journey. The intense pain will ease, but the time frame differs for each of us. I actually can't really feel the intense pain anymore. Sometimes I miss it, mostly because it means I was much closer to my babies in time and also because the intense grief feels like a very real connection between myself and each of them. But I have found different ways to feel connected to them, and being away from the intense grief does allow other parts of life in. The intense grief is all consuming and so draining, leaving little room for anything else.
You will find your way through, and in time, you'll just notice that the pain has changed. So far for me, there is an enduring sadness that is never really that far away, but more of "life" gets in now so it's not always at the forefront. But there are those unexpected moments when the sadness emerges, which seem so left field.
It seems from talking to other women, that's ow it is for most of us. Almost an unguarded moment, and the sadness rushes in. It can be confronting, but once I got more used to it, it's ok. I just accept it as part of the journey.
It will change and be different, and I hope that even with DH away there is still some time for some sneaky BD'ing for you both. Maybe send DS away for the weekend to his friends or relatives and go on a trip with DH in the lorry? How racy! I suppose it depends on how long his trips away are.
Pity you had a horrendous AF, it can take our bodies a while to settle down again. If things aren't settled by next cycle, personally I would want to check them out. Hope there's no need and you have a sneaky bfp by then.
Last edited by dory; April 27th, 2010 at 09:16 AM.
: typo
we didn't manage it this time but I do seem to have 'got back to normal', it also appears that this month DS will be around for the all important 'O' days, weekends and the General Election means he's home more than away this week so you never know!
we are trying to persuade my sister to look after the brood for my birthday in July.... not sure how much wine that is going to take! DS has a third hand work phone and scrolling through the photos it wuld appear that quite a few others have enjoyed the ambience of the lorry! Didn't dare check out the videos!
Feeling a lot stronger about everything now, will face the mad woman at work, it's taken a few weeks to realise that she really isn't important and she does have to give me a decent reference, I will just have to stay until she goes.
I was looking at the baby albums today with DS2 today and we came across Gabriels' scan picture, I put it in with a poem so he was included. DS read the poem, smiled and said ' you can try again Mummy, maybe the next one will stay', lets hope he's right.
Take care, thank you foryour kind words, you always make so much sense
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I feel your pain.
DS has a third hand work phone and scrolling through the photos it wuld appear that quite a few others have enjoyed the ambience of the lorry! Didn't dare check out the videos!
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