Thank you Spring Angel for seeing how I am and thank you to everyone that replied to my message. It is so sad to see that so many people are going through this devasting experience but it is also comforting to know that so many people care and that there are people to talk to that are feeling how I am feeling.

Before I was pregnant, friends would say that once you are past the first 12 weeks, you are safe - this I have experienced first hand is not true. After reading so many other stories it is definitely not true. Have a healthy crying baby in your arms is truely a miracle and one day I hope to experience such joy and happiness.

I still don't know how I get through each day - it is like a horrible nightmare that I can't wake up from. It just doesn't feel real and I just want the pain to go away. I know that the pain will never go away but will it ever ease? I just feel numb. The only thing that keeps me going each day is thinking of my precious little boy and know that I would have been a great mummy to him - i miss him dearly.