This is my story

[snowie]

I'm sorry for your loss . What an idiot of an OB!! I'm glad you aren't going back to him.
As for feeling sad - you have every right to! Eating choccie helps - don't get too carried away though A glass of red wine also helps me too.
Take as much time as you need to grieve. Do you have an understanding GP - my GP has given me medical certs when I've need it (even for a very early loss at 4wks).

[issy02]

Oh Vanessa, im so sorry for your loss. You have every right to grieve. For me it wasnt just the loss of a baby but the loss of a dream and hopes for the future that you begin to create when you find out your going to have a baby.

I kept thinking, why me? why my little angel? what did I do wrong? I still dont think I understand why and no matter how much I tell myself, 'it wasnt meant to be' it just feels like a lie im trying to convince myself of. Some people dont realise that when a women finds out she is going to have a baby she immediately feel love for her child, a sense of nuture and a strong desire to protect them. Perhaps thats why we feel like failures when things go wrong, we feel we have failed to protect them, that our love just wasnt enough, but thats just not true.

Its such a positive thing to share your feelings, and find support in others, especially those who understand the feelings involved in the grieving process of a m/c.

Again Im so sorry for your loss, the BB forums have offered so much support for me and have helped me express some very difficult emotions but most importantly have made them feel like valid, important emotions which I have the right to feel.

Issy.

[smiles4u]

Oh Vanessa that's so heartbeaking ... And so insensitive of that OB

... I don't have magical encouraging words to say to you BUT a big huge hug to send your way

[V21]

Thanks guys for your support and understanding. It makes my feelings valid. Thanks again

[Cieras mummy]

Hi Vanessa,

I too lost my baby recently and was told by the doctor in the ED that I didnt really have a baby there to loose. I have worked in medical practices for a long time and did not think that it was the right thing to say. For me I had a baby growing in me and to have that taken away so quickly in body and then in soul really hurt.

The sonagrapher was also very rude and asked me if I was sure of my dates, when I said yes no doubt his words were very harsh and not needed. He said "well this isnt the size of a nine week sac". I knew straight away that there was something wrong as I could not even see a baby form on the screen.

It ended up being diagnosed as a blighted ovum, and I had a d&c 4 days later.
I am totally with you on the trying again thing. I just want to get pregant again as it took 2 years the last time. I dont want to even consider having to wait that long again.

To make things even harder for DH and I, my DH brother and his wife told us 1 week after MC that they are expecting their baby 3weeks before I would have been due and now good friend has told me that she is due 3 weeks after I would have been due. I mean how much am I supposed to handle at any one given time.........

I have just started AF. 1st once since D&C so look out next month. Here's hoping that AF will stay away

Sorry that my post is long, but you seem to be in the same boat as I am and I completely understand all those feelings that you are feeling.
I just hope that you can have some comfort in the knowledge that we are all here to help each other through this time when there seems to be no where else to go.
To you and I hope things get better for you really soon.

All the Best
Kim