Jennifer,
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your precious angel.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I have tears streaming down my face, as I truly can relate to a lot of what you have been through. My husband and I lost our beautiful son Noah Thomas on 21 Feb 2006. I remember feeling like I would never smile again. I didn't think I would ever be able to be happy again. I just know that my baby is my my heart, and he is watching over me every single day, knowing and feeling all the love that I have for him.
Please be kind to yourself, and allow yourself time to cry and to grieve.
And please know that I am here for you if and when you ever need to talk.
Hugs
Lisa