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Thread: Miscarriage at 6 weeks, where to now?

  1. #1

    Join Date
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    Default Miscarriage at 6 weeks, where to now?

    Hi all, i'm new here so please excuse me if i've posted this in the wrong spot.
    I joined up so that i could chat about my experience with loss and hopefully get some advice from other mum's who've been through the same thing.
    Here's my story.
    I have a beautiful little boy who's 15 months old now . A few months back my hubby and i decided to try for baby number two. Well luckily we are a very fertile couple and i fell pregnant in the second month of trying (same thing with my son)
    I guess looking back on it now i did know something wasn't quite right from the beginning of the pregnancy, i was really really tired and i didn't really feel pregnant but at the time i was so happy i didn't want to admit it.
    I did a few pregnancy tests about a week before my period was due (i was pretty sure i'd be pregnant that month) and they came back very very faintly positive which of course would be right because i wasn't very far along, only a few weeks in fact. Anyway i took another 2 tests a few days after my period was due and they were both positive but were still on the faint side which i thought was odd as they were very sensitive tests and i remembered the positive line was a lot darker when i had my son. Anyway i shrugged it off and just asumed it was light because it was still realy days. I told my husband who was shocked (i don't think he was expecting us to fall pregnant so quickly AGAIN!) but also very happy.



    So anyway at 6 weeks i went to the toilet one afternoon and noticed a light pink discharge (sorry if thats too much info) immediatly i was worried because i never had anything like that with my son and i juts knew something was wrong . I told my husband who was just as worried as i was. Because it was late afternoon i decided to wait untill the morning to call my doctor and wait and see if the discharge would stop overnight. By the nest morning i had started spotting and it now looked a lot more red, like blood. So i made an emergency appoinment (it was a saturday morning AND a long weekend so i was lucky to get in) and the doctor sent me to emergency for an emergency ultrasound. After 6 hours of waiting by myself (my poor hubby had to take my son home who was over tired and hungry) i finally got the ultrasound. I knew something was wrong because the sonographer took FOREVER and didn't say a word to me. Then my doctor came and gave me the bad news.. that i was miscarrying and that there was nothing they could do , apparently my HcG levels where only 150 which was very very low for 6 weeks pregnant. So after 6 hours i left the hospatil in tears. The bleedling picks up over the next few days and on the third day i passed the 'pregnancy tissue' I think that was the hardest part of the whole thing because i felt so sad that a part of me was just flushed away, it was really hard to actually bring myself to flush the toilet.
    Anyway i'm sorry to rambled on.
    The dilema i'm facing now is whether to try again or not. It's been about 5 weeks and i haven't got my period back yet. My doctor said i can try whenever since i wasn't very far along when i had the miscarriage. I just don't know, i think the whole thing has turned me off trying again. I know i want another baby and i get really clucky when i see a newborn but i just can't seem to make a solid decision. I can't help thinking that maybe that was a sign that i'm not meant to have another one yet. I know its still only early days and i'm still grieving but i just feel very strongly that i need to make a decision. Does anyone else feel like this? What did they decide?
    Thanks for taking the time to read my story

  2. #2

    Join Date
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    Hi, This happened to me end sept last year. My DH and I were not trying due to our boys being IVF and told the chance of us falling pg naturally was like 5 percent. We were so excited to have fallen naturally and then we m/c I just was beside myself with greif. We then decided that we would wait till feb 07 to put 1 of our frozen embies in. However I fell pg again naturally nov/dec and now have our beautiful little girl. I wish you all the best.

  3. #3

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    Thanks for your response Leanne, i'm so glad to hear you went on to have a beautiful little girl after your m/c.
    Sometimes i think that i'd like to try again asap and if it happens then it happens and if not then thats ok too, but then i get scared to try because chances are i will get pregnant straight away (if the last two pregnancies are anything to go by) and i want to make sure i'm 100% ready for another one. Its strange because when we started trying for the last pregnancy i was so at ease and didn't really dwell on it too much but now after the m/c it feels like the biggest decision in the world to try again. I guess i'm feeling a little bit down today as well because i noticed my breasts have started to produce colostrum- so that made me sad because it reminded me all over again that i'd had the m/c.

  4. #4

    Join Date
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    Keep your chin up and just do what you feel is right for you. Things will always get better. I wish you all the very best.

  5. #5

    Join Date
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    lestyrox first of all welcome to BellyBelly. I'm sorry you had to join us under these tough circumstances and I'm sorry for your loss Only you'll know when you're emotionally ready to try again. Miscarriages are tragedies for many reasons, one of which is that they rob us of our optimistic innocence when it comes to pregnancy. I trust each day brings you a little more hope, and you'll soon *know* when (or if) you want to try again.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    May 2007
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    Lestyrox
    Sorry to hear your sad news.
    You are still in the early stages of everything so that is why your not sure what to do.
    First things first though, Make sure your ok in body and emotions, greive for your little one, and pamper your self as you have been through alot.
    I have been told its best to wait for your AF (period) to make sure everything is ok and your hormones are ok as if they are mucking around you will need to see a GYN asap.
    Take care
    Chris

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    sorry to hear of your loss, when to try again is a hard one ,we are facing it to so scared to loss another but we really want a baby and for us we are running out of time. Fingers crossed for a super sticky one next time.

  8. #8

    Join Date
    May 2007
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    Hi Lestyrox,
    Sorry to hear of your loss

    I too suffered a m/c on the same weekend as you. It broke our hearts. Trying again can be a difficult descision. You will know in your heart when you are ready. We decided to try straight away as we have been trying for 15 months and it was the closest we have ever got, it gave us a bit of hope.

    I thought emotionally that i was ready, but when it came time to dtd for the first time i found it extremely hard. I had focused so much negative energy on that part of my body that having to dtd made me feel ill.

    I spoke about it with close friends and they (and some lovely girls here at BB) helped me through. My thoughts were that my desire to have a healthy baby out weighted the fear of another m/c.

    Take care of youself, grieve as much as you need too. I hope when the time comes again you are blessed with a sticky one.

  9. #9
    4thekids Guest

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    Hi I to just expierenced a loss, my heart truly goes out to you.
    All I can say is take it day by day and do whatever you need to do in order to mourn your loss and make yourself feel just that little bit better.In your question for when to start trying again, well obviously I have no answers as I feel exactly like you as im sure anyone else who has had a loss does.I to am so so scared of it happening again and going through that same pain.I guess you will know when or if your ready, but I truly send hugs in for you in this terrible situation I truly hope you get the support you need.Good luck.

  10. #10

    Join Date
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    I just wanted to say a BIG thankyou to all the lovely ladies who've replied. I sisn't expect such a big response, and so quickly! Thank you all for your support I am still not sure what to do but i think in time God will show me the way. I have been reading through the other heartbreaking stories of loss on here and i realise just how blessed i am to have my gorgeous son. There are some ladies on here who have been through so much and my heart really goes out to them. I can only imagine the heartache of loosing a baby late in pregnancy or loosing twins. I guess in some way i was fortunate to have my angel taken early as i can imagine how hard it must be when they are farther along. Luckily i never saw the heartbeat or the bub on the ultrasound so i don't have that image to haunt me.
    To all the other ladies on here, i feel for you and wish you happiness and blessings. Thank you all again for your kind words

  11. #11

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    Hi,
    I read your story. I'm sorry for your loss :hugs: yesterday i suffered my first m/c at 4.1 wks. We only knew we were pregnant for 5days so it was a very short journey for us. I didnt realise how heartbroken i would feel until the miscarriage happened in the shower last night... i felt torn apart when those pieces of what was going to be our baby, went down the shower drain forever.... i felt so torn but knew that there was nothing we could have done to stop this from happening. It just wasn't meant to be...

    It was our first ever BFP and first month ttc also, but we are not letting this stop us from ttc a healthy baby next month because we want to be parents so very badly. (my story is on a thread i wrote last night) I am scared it may happen again but my desire to have a healthy baby is much stronger so i am not letting it get in the way...

    I wish you all the happiness in the world also :hugs:

  12. #12

    Join Date
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    I'm sorry for your loss. Just make sure you are 100% ready before you try again. I've had 3 losses, two this year. I thought I was ready straight after my first one this year and it took 4 cycles for it to happen again but then I lost the next one. It was very difficult dealing with another loss so soon after, I seriously thought I was ready, but in actual fact I wasn't ready to deal with another loss. My DF was even less prepared and that was the beginning of a downward slide with us which thankfully we have managed to repair.

  13. #13

    Join Date
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    Lestyrox honey I am so sorry you joined under these circumstances but take heart that we are all here for you. Take some time to grieve the loss of your little darling.
    I suffered a m/c in March and was heart broken, especially when the sonographer said it was twins. My Dh and i decided we would wait 3 - 6 months but the big man upstairs had other plans...and well I fell pg straight away. As happy as I was, It took me a very long time to except my new pregnancy because I didnt really grieve my twins. My ever so beautiful husband and eldest son decided we should name them and make a gardern in their honour. It helped me so much.
    I hope your heart is mending, even if its only slowly and remember there are many women here that hear your pain and sadness....dont be a stranger and feel free to chat to any of us at any time.

  14. #14

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    lestrox,
    hi, I hope you are feeling a little better now, I just wanted to let you know that as horrible as it sounds and as much as at the moment it probably sounds trite, but these things really do happen for a reason.
    when I had my mc earlier this year, I just wanted to know why, I trawled the net for hours reading every single piece of information I could find on miscarriage and loss. but it never really answered my questions, luckily I also happened across belly belly and it has been here that I have found the support and answers i so desperately needed. I hope that you too will find this to be true.
    I couldnt even think about ttc afterwards, we had tried for 18 mths before that to conceive, I joined the ttc after mc and loss thread, the girls there are fantastic and they were my inspiration in finally deciding that yes, I could do this.again.
    also, I dont know if its any help but the chance of having another mc is relatively low, apparantly most women go on to have healthy pregnancies. I like to remind myself of that, alot.
    all the best with your future ttc.
    feel free to come and chat, even if still debating ttc.
    becxxx

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