Oh sweetie...I am so sorry. Everything you have said...and how you're feeling...I've said myself and you have always been there to help me through. It's not fair...it is too hard and it feels like in this moment no one understands the pain and frustration...it's just so hard...and why wouldn't you try and protect yourself...I wish I could make it all better...you are an amazing woman...take time and do what you need to do...I'm here for you xxx