Im so sorry for your loss. I have been there and I know how hard it is.

Its so incredibly difficult when you want something so bad, and its taken away from you like that. I can empathise with everything youve written.

I have had two D&Cs this year and I didnt want either. My body doesnt seem to know how to miscarry (I was still sick and my HCG was still rising up until the day of my last D&C) and I had to have the D&C both times. I just wanted to give my angels the honour of birthing them at home but I couldnt even do that, and I am still very, very upset about it. It isnt your fault that your body wont let go and sometimes you just have to accept the D&C. Physically it was the best thing for me because afterwards I no longer had my pg symptoms and my body was pretty much back to normal within a couple of days. Dont ever think its a cop out. You are able to grieve it though, and get mad about how unfair it all is. I still do and my last D&C was 4 weeks ago.

Hugs sweety.