Hello,
I had posted up about 5-6 weeks ago about me getting my BFP. Well, I had been having some bad left side cramps for weeks after wards without bleeding, and like 3 U/s before my 6th week to try to see what was causing the pain. They said that there was no evidence of a cyst on my left side no eptopic pregnancy, There is a cyst on my Right ovary. Anyways, My last U/s was on Monday the 21st we saw a gestational sac, I was like 5 Weeks and 3 days at that time. Um, I started bleeding on Thursday the 24th and I called told the doctor what was going on after hours call she told me to come in Friday the 25th for HCG and progesterone draw to see how my levels are. I Had Pre AF spotting that night & than in the morning it was Light AF like & I knew a few hours after I Saw the dr it would be a heavy period, I got my blood drawn and a pelvic exam she didn't say much but that my blood looked brown & that she was going to check my levels and if things looked good probably put me on progesterone just incase and do another U/s On Monday. Well Since my order was stat She called me at 4pm that night and told me that my level went from 138 to 10 and that I was miscarrying. And, that I needed to come in Thursday to get my blood redone and to make an apt to see her Friday.

I'm so scared & didn't get many things to ask my doctor when this all happened. I know everyone is diffrant when they have a loss & I know I will never forget my baby bean. How long does the depression/Grievance take for some of you? I'm sitting here thinking that this will never go away and I feel like I wont be able to go on with my own life. I know I can try for another baby but thats not what I want "I Want this baby" I want it back is what I'm saying, I keep asking why did this happen? Is it something I did??? All I can keep asking is questions... I hurt so bad

I'm also afraid of posiblitiy of needing a D & C, I'm to scared to even have the thought of a tube going down my throat weather or not I'm knocked out or not, Im so afraid to have anything like a prosidure as one of these or a C section done were I think I might run from it if I had to do it.... :-(..
Also, I only had a day and a half of bleeding (HEAVY bleeding) And now all of the bleeding has stopped!!!! WTF? Is this normal???



So, I have been severely depressed & I really don't know how long its going to take me to get over this, I'm so hurt all I can do is lay in bed thinking about what happened. It feels like this is going to take forever to be able to cope. I miss my baby and I want it back!!!!