So painful in so many ways

[BrunetteMandy]

I've just joined this site as I am not coping with the loss of my baby. I was 7 weeks pregnant. I started cramping and spotting last Monday (a week ago) and tried to ignore it. Thought maybe I had an infection. But when I finally went to hospital, no heartbeat could be detected. I had to have a D & C. That was painful enough. My breasts are still sore now, and I still feel pregnant. My bleeding is light. But I wake up each day in tears. I wanted this baby so much. I am still in shock that the baby died. I strated choosing baby names and becoming quite excited. My partner of two years did not want this baby. He kicked me out of the house, has not spoken a word to me. I am 36 and he is 50 (never been married or had a child) and never wanted to have a child. But said to me "that he would take the consequences if I did become pregnant". He said he loved me so much. He insisted I abort this baby when he found out and I said "No, I want this baby". I moved out two weeks ago and then the baby died. He would be so happy. I have not told him, and I don't see why I should. (I have two children from a previous marriage, a 14 year old girl, and a 10 year old boy). I had no problems in those pregnancies. What has gone wrong? I so badly wanted this child. My family would have supported me. My partner showed his true colours to me. He didn't care. I cannot make him care. He would probably jump for joy if I told him and I can't deal with that right now. Am I doing the right thing by not telling him?? I have a few items left at his house and I am moving them out whilst he is at work and moving back to my home that I had rented out. I am just so sad for so many reasons. Its too much............. Thank you for listening and taking the time to read this xo

[~clover~]

I'm so sorry for your loss.
Do you have any one who you can talk to? Any support?