Im sorry for you're loss...its completely normal to still be feeling the way you do at the moment. Everyone grieves differently and takes different times to heal. Like you i lost my second baby and went in for ultrasound and the exact same thing happened and had to have a d&c, i was gutted.....i didnt know how to deal with it......i still remember those feelings i had after it happened...it cuts deep...............................I started to feel a little better once i concieved again 4/5 months after loosing my baby, but then a whole new set of fears set in. Im 24 weeks and feeling alot better now...i still think of my baby..some people want to try straight away, others want to wait..some grieve straight away, others it comes out later.....it just all depends and there is no right or wrong answer.........Give you're self permission to be the way you are and how you're feeling...................Dont blame you're self tho...you are not to blame at all...these things happen and are out of our control...theres nothing you could of done. You didnt make this happen. You're angel wasnt ready to come down yet. Maybe try some counseling or buy a book about miscarriage..