too devastated to speak

**sonya1** · October 29th, 2007, 09:23 PM

after 3 cycles of ivf i finally had a positve result on sept 13. today i had my last ivf scan before being referred to a baby dr. unfortunately my 9 1/2 week old beautiful baby died sometime in the last two days. it was heartbreaking to have my followup scan this arvo with a specialist. dh and i saw our perfect little baby, fingers toes and beautiful head and tummy.....and a still heart. im so devastated and i think in shock. i have been shopping, made dinner and carried on like usual. all except i cant speak to anyone but dh without sobbing and breaking down.
i have to face tomorrow. taking my boy to school and facing friends. plus booking a gp appt for curette referral as fs doesnt want me to try and miscarry as bubs too far along. so sad, its so unfair. i have had such a hard life since the age of 3. why does it continue? sorry have to stop. hope nobody is offended by my self absorbed post.

**BekZ** · October 29th, 2007, 09:26 PM

Sonya - So sorry to hear of your loss. All I can say is look after yourself and treat yourself with care. Sending you heaps of positive vibes.

**nic** · October 29th, 2007, 09:31 PM

Oh Sonya, I'm so very sorry :hugs:
My thoughts are with you...

Nic

**butterfly_warrior** · October 29th, 2007, 09:34 PM

Sonya, I am so very deeply sorry for your loss.

There are no words that I can say, all I can give you is my understanding, and my tears. Be as self-absorbed as you need to be, nobody will hold that against you.

I was talking with BG on msn when I saw this thread. There were many, many words said that aren't repeatable here. We share your hurt, your anger, and the outrage at the absolute bloody unfairness that life has asked so many of us to face.

Take care, Sonya. Know that we are thinking of you.

BW

**feeb** · October 29th, 2007, 09:41 PM

So sorry to hear about your loss.

I know that nothing anyone can say will make u feel any better remmeber we are all here to listen and offer support!!

xoxo

**dusty** · October 29th, 2007, 09:50 PM

oh sonya, i am so sad to see your post. be kind to yourselves as you grieve.

xx dusty

**rufalina** · October 29th, 2007, 10:00 PM

so sorry you have to go through this. Thinking of you.

xo

jules30 · October 29th, 2007, 10:05 PM

Deeply sorry for your loss Sonya. Do whatever you need to get through this sad time, we are here to listen and support you. Take care. Big hugs.

**belfie** · October 29th, 2007, 10:08 PM

Sonya, I'm so so sorry to hear about your loss. My heart goes out to you, and your post is not self-absorbed at all! Let your pain out wherever and whenever you need. I"m sending you big hugs.

**diva det** · October 29th, 2007, 10:11 PM

i am soo sorry for your loss- the same thing happen to me 6 weeks ago. I lost my IVF bubba at 12 weeks.
I never gets easier to live with - but you learn to live with the pain!
feel free to talk as it does help !!!

take care and cry and feel all you need to and don't deny these feelings!
hugs
odette

**chris** · October 29th, 2007, 10:34 PM

Sonya, Sorry to hear your news.
It's so unfair that we have to put up with this crap. I have had probs ever since Aunt Flow arrived in my life many years ago....

I would have a D&C as soon as possible as I miscarried naturaly at 11 weeks and it was the worst thing I have been through. (I now have Ashermans syndrome and PTSD because of what I went through during and after the miscarriage)

Ask the Dr to do it using a Histroscope so he can see what he is doing (a D&C is the only surgery that is done by feel so tell him to do it by camera).

Take care

Chris

**Mrs Jak** · October 29th, 2007, 10:42 PM

Hi Sonya, so sorry to hear this news too.

Thinking of you here..

**MistyFying** · October 29th, 2007, 10:50 PM

Sonya I'm so sorry you have to face this awful situation. Be gentle with yourself as you grieve the loss of your little one.

**munchy** · October 29th, 2007, 11:37 PM

Sonya

i am so sorry to hear you lost your bub sending you big

be kind to yourself and we are all hear to talk to.

Munchy xxx

**briggsy's girl** · October 30th, 2007, 05:59 AM

Sonya

when BW told me your news, i cried - and said a lot of things on MSN that just aren't repeatable here - my heart goes out to you hun - there are no words to make this easier or any less painful

my thoughts are with you and your family

BG

**Ellie** · October 30th, 2007, 07:59 AM

Sonya
I am so sorry my sweet...I'm just totally devastated and in shock...I can't believe this has happened...I wish there was something I could say or do...I'm here hun...heartbroken and sobbing with you xxx