Canberra mum

Hugs to you for your loss xoxo

I have suffered a few losses, both early and late and i found that my family recognise my late losses, but they dont seem to consider my m/c's at all, while to me the pain and loss is identical.

I sent out little notes on my EDD to all my family and friends the first year to ask them all to light a candle on the due date in memory of what "should" have been my babies birthday, although it has been a few years now, i still light my candles, though my mum is my only family who doesnt need reminding.

I also have a tree for my daughter which grows stronger every day and is a constant rminder of her.

Some people find it only makes it harder to move on if we remember and mourn every anniversary, and with me, i have had so many losses that if i was to remember each milestone, i would have something almost every month, which would get a bit much, so i choose to remember all of my angels on the one day, although i light candles every day.

Your little boy by no means is a replacement for your lost child, though people who have not suffered a loss tend to assume another child is, though i watched a doco the other day where a lady summed it up quite well, you still live with the ghost of your lost baby, your childs brother or sister. a new baby does not make that lost child disapear, and in fact sometimes after having a baby, it makes that loss even more prominent as you really feel the loss as you now know what you are missing- does that make sense?

I get through in many ways, some days are harder than others, and some days i still dont want to get out of bed, but i do, and i try my best to get on with the life i have left, as hard as that is.

just take each day as it comes, and when you can talk to your little boy, even share with him the story of his angel brother or sister, that is something i have decided i will be doing, my children will know all about their angel brothers and sisters, and so in a sense i hope that will help keep their spirit alive.

Take care sweetie, and do whatever makes you feel good.

StarBright
xoxoxoxo