I don't think it matters if you can have children or not, it's an incredibly self-less thing to want to give underpriviledged children a loving home, and there are plenty of children who's lives will be so much richer for having someone like you care for them!
Thank you for the information I wasn't aware of PC thank you. I am young, it's not something that will happen tomorrow I just wanted to be prepared for what needs to be done further on down the track when I feel the time is right. Roughly how much is it between for intercountry adopting? I think the idea of PC sounds like a good idea though, it would be very scarey for kids being involuntarily removed I'd like to try and give a loving home to a poor child like that. I will keep it in mind for the future thank u
Should you adopt one day? Maybe if you have your finances together and don't have any sort of issues that are unresolved! I think they are things that need to be sorted before you even consider adopting another life. As if a child hasn't been though enough in it's life up until the moment he/she meets their new family and throw any unresolved issues you might have at this innocent child who just wants to be loved.. that really does mess kids up!
Aww.. i have seen you around before Jacinta! It brings a smile to my face knowing that you are adopting a beautiful little bundle from China.. what a special little person it will be
Yep as I said would be in the future if financially secure with house, jobs, clear bill of health. Was thinking if i was to adopt it would be STARTED in about 6years time... just wanted to know what was involved probably all change by then just wanted to know what to save and the length of the process... thanks a heap for the info, I like to be prepared as early as possible
Just thought i would say how great it is to see you all thinking of adoption and giving loving caring homes to the ones who need it wether it be children from other countries as well as Australia.
I am adopted myself and i am so grateful that my parents (adoptive) were given the oportunity to raise me. I am so grateful for being here in the word today as i may not have been.
Well done to you all and i hope everything you deserve comes into your lives. It touches my heart especially when i myself was one of these children (no-one to love me adoptive child) at one stage of my life!
CelticMoon, Having just read my post back, I wanted to say that although I may sound a little harsh I simply wanted to provide some food for thought if you're going to adopt a child.
I am an adoptee, and I have just reunited with my birthmother. There are many hardships and issues an adopted child will face in their lifetime. Being removed from their blood families is the biggest one. Growing up as a child who was abandoned or given away is not an easy thing to accept. Growing up with people who are so different to you that you never feel you fit in. These are just a few of the many things some adoptees experience. Happy to elaborate if you need! Anyway, sorry if I sound harsh, Im not directing it to you personally - i'm just very passionate about this issue as you will discover! x
I was talking to a friend of mine before and they thought it was selfish to adopt because I am able to have children. I don't think the issue is if you're selfish or not. Its plainly obvious you're not a selfish person. However ADOPTING A CHILD SHOULD NOT BE ABOUT YOU. It should be about the child and what is best for that child. [B]
I want my own kids but I have always wanted to adopt (once I have a job, house etc) to give someone else a loving home of whatever age. I know foster care is also available but I think I would be too attached and be too upset when they had to leave..
In a perfect world, children should live and grow up with their genetic families. It is the best case scenario, for the well being of the child. Unless of course circumstances are not so perfect, and harm or danger could come to the child - in which case fostering or adoption is another option.
If you think that it would be hard for YOU to GIVE UP a foster child - imagine how an ADOPTED CHILD FEELS - being ripped from every trace of their family and their history. Even a baby senses that loss and as they grow up it can manifest in different ways. Trust me, there is much more genetics carried down than I ever thought would be.
They said there are a shortage of children for people to adopt and adoption should be left for those who aren't able to have children and it's selfish of me to want to take that away from a couple who can't have kids.
Shortage of children for people to adopt. This is a good thing right - children are being kept in their families because of more support. IT IS A GOOD THING.
AGAIN, ITS NOT ABOUT THE PARENTS WHO CAN'T HAVE KIDS, LEAVING THE CHILDREN FOR THEM... ITS NOT ABOUT PARENTS. ITS ABOUT THE CHILD.
I never saw it as taking parenthood away from someone but as giving a child a loving environment to grow up in. Is it wrong for me to hope to one day adopt even though I can have kids? Is there that much of a shortage of children that I would be destroying someone elses dreams of parenthood?
SHORTAGE OF CHILDREN. THAT STATEMENT KIND OF MAKES ME ANGRY, BECAUSE IT INSINUATES WE'RE A COMMODITY. WE ARE NOT. WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS. WE'RE INNOCENT LITTLE CHILDREN WHO HAVE BEEN ABANDONED.
I also think this question should be asked: If you had the opportunity to adopt a child, or help that child be with its biological family - what would you choose? If you choose biological family - you have made the decision for the best interests of the child. If you choose to adopt, you need to dig deeper into the reasons why you want to do it.
Many people like to 'nice up' adoption but the truth is its painful, hurtful and hard to take - being a child who was abandoned at birth. I did have a great life however, and I had a wonderful adopted family but the fact remains that it's been a really hard path to take in life - one that I had no choice in.
I hope I didn't sound like a bitter angry adoptee!!!
It's very common for adoptee's to be a bit sensitive to wording used when talking about adoption. Especially in the wake of the 'celebrity adoption' phenomenon, and how the media etc. phrase things.
If someone does adopt a child, open adoption is really important IMHO.
Having access to information, and also not being made to feel 'guilty' for wanting to know that information. For aparents not to feel threatened by their child wanting to search, but to support and give them understanding.
The child may or may not want to know their history. That should be a decision the child makes. To actively and openly be able to discuss the issues with their child, they will help them immensely. A big thing for me was to feel unconditional love by my aparents, they were awesome. They were always honest and open about my adoption and I feel that this gave me a grounded perspective. I felt I could approach my parents to talk about my feelings and not made to feel like anything was a secret, or shameful.
my Dh and i looked into adoption. the few things i remember are its take upto 2 years just for your application to be assessed. also we were looking at ethiopia and the cost was about $20,000 and you need to be a devout christian (which is fair enough, but we arent) also if you are planning your own biological children you cannot adopt until your youngest is 2 years old. i think adoption is wonderful, though it sounds heart wrenching. maybe contact your state adoption council and attend one of their seminars with your partner. this will give you more insight and you can plan whats best for you and your (one day) family
good luck and what you are planning is self-less not selfish. all our family were against it and i found their reasons to be selfish.. i wish we had the financial backing and time (our ages) on our side....
I wasn't thinking of it, blondeangel. Yes I do think it's important to get both sides of the picture, and you provide a perspective not often discussed. This is an emotional issue. I understand that much.
I think your question was legitmate and blondeangel has already said that she wasn't offended. I can't reinstate your original post but wanted to say that, as with every journey, you start by fumbling your way through, and you learn and grow into the journey as time passes. You may not kow the right words right now, but with the perspective of others, you will soon.
Good luck with your plans to adopt/undertake permanent care and I hope your dreams come true.
Dear BlondeAngel,
I had read this thread from it's inception so i know what the original post was about.
I really wanted to thank you and give you a huge amount of credit for what you have written. You write well, and clearly have a passion for getting your story across and educating people. I feel you educated me in that short space of time and gave me lots to think about. Being LTTTC we have discussed adoption many times, but have never taken it any further than a discussion. We never really saw it as a decision for a child, but a decision to make a family for us. We felt our intentions were good, but looking back they were primarily all about us.
As sushee said, it's a journey, and we might still make it one day, fumbling through, but i have taken on board what you have said and think you should be proud of yourself for your willingness to talk and help and educate others.
Also, thanks to Jacinta. You too have provided lots of info for us in the past (probably without knowing it) and we wish you all the best with your adoption journey.
Jacinta and Jo - thank you!
Once again, I really appreciate your support
It's such a small thing, taking the time to look at things from the child's perspective, but I truly feel that for those people who have or who are wishing to adopt, it is such a positive move for the wellbeing of your child.
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Should I adopt one day?
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