my Dh and i looked into adoption. the few things i remember are its take upto 2 years just for your application to be assessed. also we were looking at ethiopia and the cost was about $20,000 and you need to be a devout christian (which is fair enough, but we arent) also if you are planning your own biological children you cannot adopt until your youngest is 2 years old. i think adoption is wonderful, though it sounds heart wrenching. maybe contact your state adoption council and attend one of their seminars with your partner. this will give you more insight and you can plan whats best for you and your (one day) family

good luck and what you are planning is self-less not selfish. all our family were against it and i found their reasons to be selfish.. i wish we had the financial backing and time (our ages) on our side....