Have been reading all the wisdom in these replies with interest.
but just thought I'd add that from what I've read, these things can affect behaviour over days or weeks, not only hours.
So decide what changes you're going to make then stick with them for a few weeks, and THEN reassess behaviour.

I mean yes, the severe reactions can happen same day, but the overall stuff you talk about might take a while.
The sue dengate/failsafe/fedup stuff is great and has lots of tips on where to start.

good luck with it and much respect to you- many mums just settle for the adhd label and don't put in the hard hard work you are doing figuring all this stuff out.