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thread: Aspergers/Autism/Sensory Integration Chatter #2

  1. #127
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic
    7,070

    Thanks for that Christy! Most of the websites I can find just want to sell books

    I'm not sure if I am living it or not and I need further clarification and actual stories/examples rather than dry diagnostic tools.

  2. #128

    Dec 2005
    not with crazy people
    8,023

    Lu hon...go to your MCHN as get her opinion...go to your doctor and get a referal.....if you have doubt already I wouldnt be reading about it...go and search for the help while he is still small and you can get into services before school. Its so much harder when they are at school. The waiting lists are stupid ....and honestly what is the worst they can say...that he is just agressive?

    Ive got a GF here that always had doubts that her child was 'normal' and I begged and pleaded with her to get an opinion from a PEAD...it took her 8 months to get in and guess what..he was AHAD. SHe said she wished she had listened earlier so she could have gotten help sooner.

    Having a child on the spectrum doesnt mean we have to do this on our own...we need help...we need support.

    And lu hon....there is an allowance for careers to help for costs. its a fortnightly amount of approx $100 plus a HCC for DS. THere are also extra bonuses near tax time aswell so them. It all helps babe.


  3. #129
    murraysmum Guest

    i was fob off so manny times with my son apprently he was normal and i was the one with the problem but persitance works now i know how to deal with things

    support is the best thing without a good support network such as child health nurse pead's and speach paths i dont know what ild do they help so much

    i agree take him to your health nurse first get her to spend a morning with him and then go from there

    i hope you get answers soon

  4. #130
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic
    7,070

    I'm going to write out a list of things.
    I mean tanties are normal in kids aren't they? Who likes to be told no? (I fricken dont!).

    I'm going to call my MCHN today, she is very familiar with Mitch from when he was little and all the issues we had then. I'm going to take everything to this OT appointment and force things through.

    I'm just confused because he has evened out so much. His first 3 years were a nightmare, and it is lots better now.

    Before I couldn't see the point of getting a formal assessment anyway, he seems so borderline. Now I feel like a total d!ck. I wasn't interested in a carers payment before, I can't see how I'm providing any different care....but I was always to frightened to put him in childcare in case he had a bad experience so I haven't been able to work all this time. That money really could have helped.
    I could never put my finger on it but I've always felt I've needed to be close by to defend him

  5. #131
    murraysmum Guest

    i got forced to put my son back into chldcare by my pead i too had bad exspeiances with child care and i found a great place to send my son and ive seen massive improvments he still dosent socialise well and still gets frustrated and hits out but the girls difuse it quick and he seems to be thriving

    its hard when we feel like idoits when we delay somthing i know i did but then i thought to myself arnt we just beeing over catious only wanting the best for our children

  6. #132

    Dec 2005
    not with crazy people
    8,023

    Lu I wish I lived closer so we could have a cuppa and you could let rip! Writing things down is really good babe...right the good, the bad and the ugly. It does help when you go for a big assessment. The money doesnt just doesnt help with medication and appointments...it can help with toys to help stimulate the good parts eg for us a DS for down time...a lap top recently.

    its hard....yes totally agree. Its hard to think we made something so perfect and somewere along the line there was a hicup in the system. Our kids were given to us because some higher force knew we could cope, knew that we would love and protect these magical little people with our hearts and soul. Your doing a beautiful job babe..its hard to admit that we need help at the beswt of times..let alone help with our kids.

    MM - OMG I got the same thing from my sister when she heard that i was getting my tubes reversed to have Vy. I havent spoken to her in 8 years and she was pi$$ed at me and called a shelfish biartch cause I was going to bring another 'spastic' kid into the world. Karma bit her on the butt......she now has 2 grandchildren both on the spectrum and now she thinks she knows everything :rolleye:

  7. #133
    murraysmum Guest

    i got my assment date today omg im smiling from ear to ear the 31st of august they fly in and will do the last bit towards finding where he sits ont he spectrum

    maz u have no idea how much ive cried in the last week over the negitve comments we have received even my other half is doubting keeping this baby but to me its a baby not a problem so murray is a bit delayed but hes got the best help out there things will be fine


    my mother thinks murray is normal and its parenting that made him this way lest say we dnt talk much at all

  8. #134
    Registered User

    Oct 2003
    Forestville NSW
    8,944

    *groan* Will we EVER be rid of the people who think that ASD is related to parenting??? WHY do they have to dwell on that part?

    I know having parenting help and advice helped us come together as a couple and be able to work on things together, but BUT it did not "fix" the issues... and that is how we knew it was something more.

    Having a second child, well we didn't have a diagnosis at the time we conceived Jovie. BUT DH wanted 2 children, he couldn't leave Matilda without a sibling, and I wanted heaps of children... we thought we weren't sleeping anyway, may as well have a newborn while we weren't sleeping. made sense to us at that time!! My mother's exact words were "If you can't cope with one, why would you have another?" Noice....

    Now, DH is getting the snip. We really wouldn't be able to cope if we had another child, and one on the spectrum. My dream of having a boy is gone now. I no longer feel devestated over it, and am ready to go on our journey another way. It sounds sad and resigned but I'm okay with it all really.

    Lulu mate.... I did that for months, from November - April.... I went back and forth as to if we really needed assessments, or if we should just move on and accept things. In that time, Matilda developed more quirks, more flapping her arms when she got frustrated, more flicking of her fingers.... all of that sort of stuff.... so now she had more obvious traits it was easier.

  9. #135
    Registered User

    Feb 2009
    3

    Confused ... and Frustrated

    Hi All!

    Sorry I have not posted in a very long time but things have been hard.

    Right now I feel very confused and frustrated. My boy Oscar who has apergers is having problems in prep. Today was not good.

    I was confronted by the teacher who wanted to make a earlier parent teacher interview. Although he has been progressing really well she was of the opinion to keep him for another year.

    He is so academically advanced. He is 5 and can read his own books and does arithmetic (addition and subtraction). He even knows his 3D shapes and writes well. He even rides his bike well and is even swimming. He just does not play well or socialise well and lacks eye contact. Prep is a play year and I think too much emphasis is spent on 'playing' with things rather than learning. I think he may thrive in year 1 with the academic surroundings. I just dont know what to do.

    My gut instinct says go and yank him out and home school. I just dont want him to redo prep. I see him getting better with socialisation everyday .... why do teachers lack the patience not every child is a cardboard cut out!!!

    Sorry I have rambled a bit here ... I just need some advice from someone who knows where I am coming from.

    Nicky

  10. #136
    Registered User

    Oct 2003
    Forestville NSW
    8,944

    Nicky URGH... I wonder if the prep teacher fully understands Asperger's... I mean often with "Normal" children, prep progression is due to social maturity, but our little kiddles won't have that social maturity... if they ever get it... Its not part of their beings.

    Do you have someone helping? I mean a play therapist, OT or psych? Social worker etc etc?? I think if it were me, I would have ask for another meeting with some information regarding early childhood education and Asperger's.

    We are deciding what to do with Matilda at the moment. Matilda has decided that she can't read. So the school has put 1 older child with Matilda everyday she's there to read with her, and then she does some sight reading stuff with the teacher's aide (who she connects with) for 30 minutes a day. The TA has said she's doing much better dealing with reading at another angle... sight rather than phonetics. So thats a huge breakthrough... The other thing is that Matilda knows words and will read them everytime she see's them, but if you ask her to read them, she won't. She's so afraid of failing, that she won't even try. If it were climbing the side of the building, she wouldn't have any problems... *groan*

  11. #137
    Registered User

    Oct 2003
    Forestville NSW
    8,944

    **UPDATE**

    Matilda's results were given to us today. She has high functioning Autism, NOT Asperger's as was originally thought.....

    Its okay, it doesn't change who she is. It doesnt change what we do, who we are... anything like that. BUT its still hard to get my head around? YKWIM?? Me thinks the apple juice worked a little too well

  12. #138
    Registered User

    Oct 2003
    Forestville NSW
    8,944

    Its starting to sink in today ...

  13. #139
    Life Subscriber

    Jul 2006
    Brisbane
    6,683

    I'm thinking of you Christy. This is so much to deal with for you.

  14. #140
    Registered User

    Oct 2003
    Forestville NSW
    8,944

    Ready for a long one??? This is what I wrote to the NSW Health Department in regards to what happened to us when we first moved to Sydney:

    To Whom it May Concern;

    My name is , and I would like to inform you of our experience at xxxxxx. My family moved into the area from Wynnum, Queensland in November 2008. Prior to our move, our oldest daughter had undergone a series of multidisciplinary assessments at the Mater Children’s Hospital Developmental Unit.

    The Mater Hospital referred us to xx Health to be put under the care of Dr xxxx. I phoned the office a few times in order to make an appointment prior to moving so we would be able to continue our process of finding a diagnosis for Matilda. The next stage for Matilda according to the Mater Children’s was to have an appointment with a psychologist They advised me that I had to see a paediatrican first once we moved to the area. My phoned calls were not returned, and when I reached a receptionist, I was told that I would be put on a waiting list and my referral had not been received. I phoned the Mater to be given the date faxed and was told they would mail the referral and history for me.

    In November 2008, I phoned again to be put through to Dr xxxx answering machine. I expressed my concern as my daughter was not going well. Her behaviour was deteriorating and her mental state was not good from the move.

    Dr xxx rang back a week later and set up an appointment time two weeks later. He asked that I bring the history to him prior to the appointment. At that time I phoned the Mater to be told that the history had been posted on November 11th 2008, two weeks prior to the phone call. I went down and dropped off another copy just in case it was lost.

    When we arrived for the appointment, Dr XXxx had not read the history. He asked us to start from the beginning, and as we started he stopped us 5 minutes into the discussion to say “Matilda does not have Austism, she is making eye contact with her father”. So we stopped talking and listened to him. We thought we would give it a try as he felt her difficult behaviours had to do with a lack of individual attention and suggested we do his “WWW”. It was over December holidays and we made another appointment in January.

    In the meantime, our daughter was unable to enter shops as she would scream for 6-8 hours after the trip. She was becoming physically aggressive towards us. She was frantic, most of the time. We had a diagnosis of Sensory Processing Disorder from the Occupational Therapist at the Mater Children’s and were able to get some help through Commonwealth Carers in order to be able to buy Christmas presents.

    We tried Watch Wait and Wonder over 2 weeks intensly. Matilda refused and hated it and would scream and attack us whenever we tried to do it, so we let it drop.

    When we revisited with Dr XXxx, he said he didn’t understand why she hated it, but that we needed to persist. That he understood her behaviour was difficult, but he still believed it had to do more with parenting than anything else.

    That halted our journey We had to get private help for Occupational Therapy for her Sensory issues, and that helped us.

    Matilda was ill in April and while we were at the Royal North Shore Hospital the paediatrician and registrars who looked after Matilda noticed that she was unable to make eye contact with anyone there. They discussed her case and approached us as her parents to discuss the need for her to get assessed for Autistic Spectrum Disorder. They had to refer us to a private paediatrician as the public on in our “area” was Dr XXXX. We had to wait 3 months to get in. Now, nearly 8 months after seeing Dr XXxx, Matilda has been diagnosed with mild Autism. She has turned 5 in that time and we have missed out 8 months of early intervention. We have missed out in over $3000 worth of help in preparing her for school and life that is available through public funding. We have missed out of months and months of a more peaceful household. We have had to cancel our holidays this year coming in order to get Matilda ready for school and because we can’t afford too.

    To say I am disappointed is an understatement. To say I am angry that the system has let us down is to put it mildly.

    I do not want to see another parent have to deal with this. We as parents are lucky to have support in other places, and even then have lost greatly in our emotional wellbeing. I need to feel that other parents of children will not be let down again.
    WDYT?

  15. #141
    Life Subscriber

    Jul 2006
    Brisbane
    6,683

    Oh Christy, that letter is so well worded - I can feel your emotion through it. It is so important to provide that feedback so that others can hopefully avoid the awful frustration that you have been through. Well done hun.

  16. #142
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic
    7,070

    Fat hugs hun

    Can you point out why (in bullet points maybe?) you are let down.
    * not being listened to
    * continually having to repeat yourselves
    * miscommunications etc etc etc

  17. #143
    murraysmum Guest

    well ive had a hell of a week last week murray wouldnt get off our couch he was just lethargic and angry he had red cheeks so i thought he was teething he was hot no temps the other half came home on saturday and mentioned murray had a swallon face kept an eye on it by 4pm sunday he looked like a football so off to the ed while in triage i told the male nurse he was in the last stages of autism assment and he wrote in big capital letters autisim got a diff rn lady she wouldnt listen to me or my partner kept calling me a pushy parent ect so i let her go for it she got bitten scratched and hit he wasnt going to let anyone near his face he hates to be touched on the side of the face best of times half an hour later she let me do it my way and it got done with alott of screaming he has a servre ear infection that burst and went both ways the swelling was from his lymnth nodes in his neck she gave me amoxacylin and this is where the fight has started he wont take it ive disguised it in about everything he wont drink it he knows its in there so we have had to hold him down and hope to small mercies he swallows

    so yeah hasnt been a good week he had to miss speach path today and all day he has screamed kicked bitten and thrown himself all over the place i feel at a loss i know hes not well but its so frustrating


    wow atleast ypu know whats wrong christy now big hugs tho

  18. #144
    Registered User

    Oct 2003
    Forestville NSW
    8,944

    Quote of the week "Its just Autism Christy.... you don't understand how hard I have it right now"

    I apologised for being so inconsiderate.

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