Huge hugs hun, what a lot to deal with.
Its so hard to deal with all their traits sometimes isn't it? I have found the holidays worse than usual for that reason.
That very particular thing can be an aspergers trait and we have had aspergers children at school who do make eye contact but then again I have a boy in my class who has been diagnosed as aspergers and doesn't care about routines like that so who knows.

Parents are hard as I know with my dad he felt if my discipline was "better" DS would be fine. He is now voluntarily reading "The out-of-sync child" which Christy lent me and is starting to understand more.

Hope today is easier.