Hi Clover. I just wanted to offer you a big hug. You have so much going on and I think you deserve a medal for staying on top of it all. I can't imagine how difficult life is for you atm. I'm really struggling to think of something constructive or helpful to say to you, I'm sorry hun. I have a son on the sprctrum but he's very mild, and not agressive, reckless in behaviour etc. And I struggle with him somedays, I can't imagine other kids in the mix... I only have one contact for him and it's his developmental paed, he's steered us in the right direction for early intervention, speech and now OT, so it's all been very helpful. I'm not sure where you can turn to..A friend of mine told me that you can join a FB group that is only open for parents/carers etc for kids with special needs/on the spectum, would you be interested in that? I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful. Just wanted to add, my DS went through a stage a little while ago where he refused to hold my hand while crossing the road, because he told me the rules are that when you are little you don't have to, and when you are grown up you do etc. He sometimes makes up his own rules etc. I have also tried the rewards chart, big fail, what I did find worked for us was bribery. He loves his scooter so I always threaten to take it away. It works. I always try to find ways to bargain with him, and compromise (sometimes it works) but it's mainly when I threaten to take away his fave stuff, he listens. I'm very lucky becaue I have access to a psychologist through his early intervention program, so when I need to vent or I need some poiters, she helps me. Sorry if this was all mumble jumble, I hope someone else can reply with some useful tips and suggestions. Hugs again x