My kids are like that. All of them need firm boundaries, yet all of them also need to be parented differently. DS needs leadership/protective roles around the house, DD2 likes to nurture etc. I was suggested a parenting course back when DD3 was younger & I blew it off because I feel I've done so OK with DD1. She is a teenager, but she seems to be an OK one so far... Maybe I should try it, but because they all need so much structure & routine I kind of became strict on all these things about 3 years ago & have read a lot of the idea's they present in these classes to attempt to see what it's all about.

A lot of her behaviour is attention seeking... which I don't understand. She's only started kindy part time this year. For the last 4 years she's had my undivided attention for all the hours the other kids are at school, as well as mostly when they're home. But this isn't a new thing since starting kindy.

She was very similar to DD2 as a baby, just not as challenging. She was very active from a very early age. She always got into things other kids her age wouldn't consider, but I always reminded myself that it was all pretty typical. But she's still doing them at 5. I feel she struggles with the impulsive behaviour like DD2 used to.
I don't think the running on the road is attention seeking. If I get her attention, by just calling out 'DD, stop' she will stop. It's not a battle. She just needs to be reminded that she needs to stop every single time. But she will also approach a snarling dog & try to pet/pick it up. She climbs on everything, including the roof of my car & has done since about 15 months old.

I'm not even sure what I want at this point. The psych I saw basically brushed me off when I tried to bring other aspects of this up with her, so I did let them know I didn't feel that she was right for us & asked for someone else I've seen with DS rather than drive another 4 hour round trip for the follow up. I'm not sure weather I suspect ADD, SPD, both or none. I know she's not on the spectrum, but the behaviours that have been there since birth make me very aware that there's more to her. It's not all learned manipulative behaviour or she would've been like any other child in a car or pram & settled as a baby. This one screamed instead.

She does love a reaction. She loooves to get a bite. Loves to see how far she can push. But only when she's actually paying attention & I can see that difference...

I just want someone to listen. To actually pay attention to what I have to say. I'm frustrated. I am managing, & doing pretty OK at the moment, but it will only be a matter of time before it all comes crashing down around me again & I'm stuck trying to get through it with no support.