I hope my post didn't come off as sounding as though you can parent your way out of everything. Some kids are really hard work! My two girls together have not been anywhere near the work that DS has been, yet I have done all the same things with all of them. I honestly think if it weren't for the sensory stuff it would have been a completely different journey. But he is who he is and he is a pretty cool kid, quirks and all

Have they not assessed her for ADHD yet? I remember that you have wondered about that since she was little and what you wrote above sounds pretty text book. I know it is pretty hit and miss to get someone who is actually helpful, but I hope the psych is reasonable.