Sorry, missed something. As far as the change of plans go, I try to acknowledge her feelings. I know that sounds ridiculous but it goes something like this, "yes, DD I know you want to do X but we'll do that tomorrow. We can't do it today because Y and now we have to do Z."

Usually it's something simple like, "Yes DD, I know you want mama to carry on playing in the sand with you but mama's too hot and she needs to go inside." Or, "yes, DD I know you want to watch Night Garden again but Iggle Piggle and Upsy Daisy are asleep. Let's go and read a book instead."