I always check with a child's parent before offering the child food. For all I know the kid is deathly allergic to any manner of substances or has never tasted sugar in his/her life and their mother would be absolutely mortified if I got the little tyke hooked on the stuff
But as for people giving DD1 food... I suppose I'm pretty blase. She has no allergies that we know of (and she's tried just about everything) and loves her junk as much as the next person, so I don't mind if someone offers her a lollipop or whatever if we're visiting... candy from friends/acquaintances makes up like 0.0002% of her diet so I don't give a rat's if it's junk, plenty more opportunity to eat some fruit later
I find most people say, 'Oh, is it okay if she has x?' as kind of an afterthought (as in, they're already handing it to her lol), but like I said, I don't worry as I'm pretty casual about what she eats. I can definitely understand the risk of allergies and that different parents have different ideas on what constitutes 'decent' food, so I always try to remember to ask beforehand.
ETA: I did get a bit at someone handing my (at the time) 3-month-old baby a lollipop while she was in her sling... I'm like, 'Uh, I know you have a 2-year-old... was she eating anything other than breastmilk or formula at that age?' and he was like, 'Oh. Yeah. My bad.' I laughed, but was like wtf?? She's a BABY, babies don't eat food period, let alone lollies!
Last edited by Glamourcide; November 2nd, 2009 at 09:29 PM.
Erin, no I don't think you're being over the top! I see the same thing happen all the time in playgroup, etc. My family are actually quite good and will always ask me first. In playgroup, we tend to have healthy food like cut fruit so I don't mind if the other mums give DS that. On occasion, people offer him biscuits and sweets and I just stop them and say no. It bothers me more that DS is a seagull and if there's food, he'll be there at your feet! So people automatically give him what they are eating, so I'm always watching and butting in if I don't agree with it.
Hmm...with lollies I think I'd usually check, but I don't buy lollies. If I get something for my kids that will be eaten in front of other kids I'll usually get the other kids one too so they aren't left out, like a lollipop (rare occasions), but i know my friends do allow this on occasion.
My friends sometimes check with me if they feel the need, but they are usually handing DS a stick of cucumber or something, so I'm not going to say no to that.
I don't think I'd mind them being given something on occasion though. They don't get it from me, so I personally think the odd treat is ok. They know its not an every day thing. They still ask for apples & water for snacks & drinks. They know what is in the house & that that sort of stuff is not & never will be. Its special occasion stuff, I'm ok with that.
ETA - I would not hand a child I didn't know anything without asking. I am aware of allergies & know that my friends little boy will break out with severe eczema just from a chip, a piece of cake, or a bikkie.
Last edited by ~clover~; November 2nd, 2009 at 09:46 PM.
I have always asked whether the child can have whatever it is. I am even more aware of it now after having had a child with severe lactose intolerance. I have got a food allergy bracelet for her which does help, and in kids church she wears a food allergy sticker with dairy written on it. Most people are becoming more aware in the circles I am in of allergies and making sure that nothing is given to the kids without their parents approval. Fruit has been put out for coffee time after church recently because it can be hard to find dairy and gluten free products.
The only other parent who understands I'm not mean is a dietician and her husband I met recently! Even my mum thinks I'm mean for no lollies. She gave my friend's boy a lolly (with her blessing) and "felt mean" that I didn't want DS to have one! DS is on a no-cows-milk-products diet so he always asks before having food, and if I tell him it is a "cow food" thing he won't eat it.
BUT if someone buys him something to eat, I just thank them. Then eat it myself when DS is in bed. It's a nice thought. If they want to give DS it there and then I explain he can't have it because of his allergy, but then will give them a dairy-free alternative to give DS.
DD1 now will ask "does it have peanuts?" if she is offered anything but she is 3.5yo. Prior to that I was paranoid about her being given food. I always ask if I am going to give food to other people's children - I think it is just common sense as so many kids have allergies.
My biggest 'pet hate' with regard to other people giving my kids food is when it's given around meal times as I know they won't eat their dinner/lunch if they have just had a sweet. So the treat itself doesn't actually worry me that much (provided it's seen as a special thing, not an everyday thing) but god it annoys me if it's given before healthy food! My kids aren't particularly food orientated so I find they need to be peckish to eat their main meals so we limit snacks during the day. Hard work when some random person offers them an ice-cream at 4pm!
As Nai said... I would think it should be common sense to ask first... but you can't always count on common sense
It's funny how many people don't get it, a couple of years ago my boss wanted to give a lolly to every child that came in, & we had to tell him you can't do that! - then he wanted to know why? - best of intentions, mind you, but clueless anyway
Yep, I think people should check first but it kind of depends who it is as to how 'offended' I am.
There's a woman in the milk bar who always gives DD something when we go in. Sometimes it's junk like a mini bag of lollies and sometimes it's healthy like an apple. Now, I don't mind really because she obviously enjoys seeing DD and I think she grabs the first thing that comes to mind.
On the other hand, with friends I do mind. I had one who said, "what she's not allowed to have biscuits yet," when DD was only one. I think she wanted to use it as an opportunity to make a point that I'm an over-protective parent. I did mind that because she should have known better and when I said no, not questioned it. If it had been the other way around, I would have apologised for offering something that someone else's child wasn't allowed, not got huffy about it.
at someone handing my (at the time) 3-month-old baby a lollipop while she was in her sling... I'm like, 'Uh, I know you have a 2-year-old... was she eating anything other than breastmilk or formula at that age?' and he was like, 'Oh. Yeah. My bad.' I laughed, but was like wtf?? She's a BABY, babies don't eat food period, let alone lollies!
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- best of intentions, mind you, but clueless anyway 
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