You are doing a fantastic job. Having a baby is sooooo hard. Is this your first? Don't feel bad about the BF'ing thing. Our DS (5 months) was badly jaundice when first born (it lasted 3 months) and as a result my milk was delayed coming in which made feeding really hard. I struggled for the first 3 months and didn't enjoy it at all. I've constantly worried if my baby gets enough too. Partly because I'm a first time mum and secondly he doesn't feed very long at all. Anyway, I always thought about going to bottle feeding and felt horrible for feeling that way given how everyone promotes BF. Whilst I still think it's the best if it works, it doesn't always work for everyone and that's nothing to feel bad about. I was lucky because it did get easier and my DH was great reassuring me that plenty of babies are bottle fed and they're perfectly fine. YOu need to do the best thing for her and that's to help her put on weight and be healthy. The crying thing is hard as well - especially since they can't tell you what's wrong. I read some really good advice somewhere on here about doing the following things:
1. Check if they are hungry
2. Check the nappy
3. Check if they are hot or cold
4. Check if they have a pain in their tummy
And if all these things are fine then sometimes they just cry. It's frustrating but they do have a peak crying time and then start to settle down. I feel like our DS has only just started coming out of his whinging phase and seems much happier now. The other thing is she may have reflux. We used to give our DS mylanta (1 ml) after a feed and that seemed to work. Lastly, your DD is NOT sick of you. Babies adore their mothers. Sometimes they just need a different face for variety and if you're feeling stressed, it may be making her stressed so when DH comes home not feeling stressed, she may feel a bit more relaxed with him. I know my DH is much more calm then me and our son often looks more relaxed with him. I see it as a great chance to have a break and do something for myself - which you must do.
I feel like I've rambled on here. I hope some of it helps. Good luck and remember we all have days. I had a meltdown just a couple of days ago. We're doing the hardest thing in the world here so we need to give ourselves some credit!