Why arent some women ever happy?

[mbear]

Do you ever find some women (and im not implying any individual on this forum, this has been my experience in real life) are never satisified with the children they have? i.e they feel the need to almost brag that they're having 4 yet they've only just popped out no. 2? i have two beautiful little girls and im so grateful for them, i could watch them all day (and do sometimes )...they're fascinating little creatures. Im so conscious of couples whom are unable to have ANY children for whatever reason thus my appreciation of my little poppets. Why do some women feel the need to keep re-producing?Do you find some women just dont enjoy (and appreciate) what they have??

[*Rae*]

I do understand what u mean but i'm prob guilty of it myself as i'm very keen to begin TTC bub #2 and make no secret of that desire. It's not at all that i don't desperately cherish my dd ,just look forward to extending my family. It's because of my overwhelming love for my Ella that i wish to have another bub soon. I never expected to enjoy motherhood soooooo much

[Phteven]

mbear, I don't think that wanting a big family is nessescarily about not being happy with the children you have now. There are lots of reasons women want larger families (wanting a big family like they had, wanting a big family because thiers was small, religious beliefs, enjoying motherhood so much they want to keep being a mum over and over, they haven't figured out why it keeps happening, they love thier kids so much that they want to spread the love a bit more just to name a few) and I'm sure that the majority of them have nothing to do with disatisfaction.

[Trish]

I was satisfied with 1 child but am more satisfied now with the 4 that I have. Yes, somedays I do still feel a yearning to have another baby, but I'm sure that will pass.

It's not that I'm not happy with the ones I already have, it's that I have so much love for them that I would love to share it with more chidren )

[Rouge]

Yeah being on both sides (infertity and wanting LOTS of kids) I'd say each to their own. I don't think its a matter of not loving what you already have its more a case of wanting to love more and more and more! I have suffered the strains of infertility, it took us 2 yrs to conceive seth and in that time I had 2 miscarriages but I would never ever think that another mother who chose to have more children closer together did so because she wasn't happy with what she had. And I wouldn't take it personally either.

I also think its how you look at it and the perspecitve you choose to take.

*hugs*
Cailin

[Lucy]

Ummmm, interesting question. I guess if we felt no need to reproduce, the human race would have died out entirely.

Why did you go onto to have 2 children, instead of just one?

If we all had the same amount, it would be a dull old world!

From my perspective, both Olivia and Charlie give me total satisfaction, so in having a third baby, I am not looking to fill any type of gap at all........but I am glad I can give them a sibling, glad that in our family love multiplies and doesn't divide.

Personally I take my hat off to anyone who has any number of children......it is a tough job whether you have one or six......I am glad there is variety, and glad that there are families out there who are overjoyed at parenting.......regardless of how many babies they have.

I am one of 5 children. I adore my siblings, and had a blissful childhood with fantastic parents, and I now have briliant relationships with my siblings as adults.....who could wish for more?!

[tiggy]

I love ALL my babies and if I could have another I would. I find them challenging, interesting and wonderful. They are each amazing creatures!
I didn't keep having babies because I was disatisfied. I did it because I love being a Mum, I love having children in my home, it makes life so full. Like Cailin, my babies have not come easily to me and I count each and every one of them as a blessing.

[mbear]

mmm maybe it is the perspective. I know we all have a time clock within us that gives us that urge to 'hurry along' with conceiving children, but sometimes i just want to shake (ever so gently) some mothers and let them see what they've got.

I wake up every day eager to start the days with my children, looking forward to what lies ahead. I suppose in my own little world i expect everyone else to do the same.....

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

I am soooooo grateful for my little precious Liebling, and if Liebling is all I have then I will be happy, but ideally I'd love to have three children.

However, I do know the type of woman - if you score 9/10, you could have scored 10, even if you came first in your class... I don't get it. Be happy with what you have, make the most of it, but don't stop planning for the future: after all, DH and I know we want Liebling to have siblings so many of our decisions (eg nappies, feeding, post-birth contraception) are based around that. But I aren't planning Liebling's life away - I don't mind how the baby turns out, as long as I have a healthy baby, and what does it matter if I have the local science genius, a plumber or a secretary - as long as my Liebling is happy and healthy, that's all I want. But I don't understand pushing a child to be something they're not.

Maybe it's because I love Liebling so much that I can't wait to have more children to love? And for my precious ones to love each other and play together... while I'm very happy with Liebling, I'd just prefer to have 3. Or maybe more if I can convince DH!

[~Raven~]

For me personally I knew deep down that my family wasn't finished at two.

I always said that we'd see how we go in regards to how many children we end up with. When people ask I tell them that I'm not sure if this will be our last child. I'm not saying that there will definately be a fourth child for us at this point in time, but if people have the need to ask me, that is what I tell them.

I don't think that makes me unsatisfied with the children I already have.

[Melody]

Not sure I really understand Mbear but in my mind (& my belief system) I believe that I have made agreements with my children (as they have with me) & we are destined to travel this particular journey together for reasons that will be revealed in good time SO it is my strong desire to get us all here together..... just as I agreed I would. I also have found a love in Hunter that I never knew to be possible & I want to give him the gift of siblings, give them the gift of Hunter.... It is about love at the end of the day.....

[Tracey]

I am also confused at the question & why you would think having 1, 2, 3, 4 or more kids would label someone Mothes at not being happy??

I never was wanting children, just hadnt thought to settle down & live in one place for long enough to be settled enough for a family!
But then I was pregnant with Maddy & I felt this overwhelming feeling/sensation of preotection & love... Then when she was born & placed on my chest, I realised then what truly loving someone felt like! I felt so tiny in a massive world all of a sudden...
I adore Maddison with every inch of my body, heart & soul & did so for 7 years without being able to create a sibling for her, then finally after years of trying, a Miscarriage that broke our families heart we finally were bleesed with another child & once again as Indah was birtrhed & delivered onto my chest I was overcome with love for her...

I am truly grateful for both of our precious, adorable daughters, but I would love to have another child & if we are blessed with another child Male or Female I would be eternally grateful to our gods for blessing us with another person to love..

It is not a need to keep reproducing it is because I love my husband & we love our girls very much & we have more love to share!!!


As I said I am not sure what the question is behind your post, but I too am intrigued as to why you have decided 2 is your limit... Or why anymore than 2 in your eyes/thoughts is judged with your comment of ..

i.e they feel the need to almost brag that they're having 4 yet they've only just popped out no. 2?

[Mumma2three]

I would kind of look at it as the more they have the more love they want to give. I have two and that's probably our limit (well it is unless something happened and it was an accident, then we'd have 3)!! But, if I had all the money I needed, and support and knew I could still achieve my dreams then I would have a few more. We only get one life and I think having kids is one of the best parts of it. Imagine when the kids are grown up having huge family gatherings, (that's my idea of bliss) the more the merrier I say!!
Also i don't think we can judge others and just assume they're not happy, or their selfish or whatever. We never know what other people are thinking unless we live with them 24/7, and even then we can't know exactly. I think it's nice when people have more than one or two these days. reminds me of when I was growing up, it was so "family" back then. I loved nothing more than going to friends houses who had lots of siblings, and just slotting into their family. And vice versa, having friends of ours over (there were 3 of us), it just always felt so right, having lots of kids around. I would like that for my family, but space and money just doesn't permit at the moment.
xoxo

[Liz]

I dunno.. there are people out there who come across as dissatisfied in a way. My SIL was sooo disappointed to have a boy and a girl.. she reckons it's too 'typical'. Sheesh! I'll be happy with however our family turns out! And she's one that had loads of problems, told she'd never conceive, really bad endo etc etc etc. Almost died after #1, and told not to have #2.. but she did, so nearly died again. Yet she still gives off this dissatisfied air about her. You'd think she'd be grateful for having her family at all!

But I don't think expressing how big you'd like to have your family necessarily shows this dissatisfaction.

I guess people could be more sensitive in the way they express it, seeing as there are people who dearly would love to plan for large families but have many problems in the way.

[katkins]

ok, I have two very beautfiul girls whom I adore with every inch of my body. They are the lights of my life and I can't even leave them for a night out without longing to see them again and hold them ever so tightly. Yet I want more. I am not dissatisfied with what I have, I just feel the strongest urge to fill this house with love and laughter and playful antics. I love playing and dancing with my kids. I love singing with them and watching them grow. If I can only have these two little miricles, then so be it, but for the rest of my fertile life, I will try to keep spreading this love and giving them other little people to love and learn from(once it is financially viable again...atm we have to hold off for a couple of years as we just bought our first house).

[Danni]

Wow this is tricky topic! Me like many other women on this forum are desperately trying for baby number 1 .

We are not happy with what we have now (no children) so we are continuously and eagerly ttc over and over again.

Why did you go on to have 2 children? Why didnt you just have 1? I guess thats why people go on to have 3, 4, 5, 6 or even 7 children. Because they love motherhood and love children.

Thats the power a woman has. Thats her decision to choose how many children she would like to birth.

[tiggy]

Well said Danni!

[Tracey]

I agree too Danni, also I think it's another judgement from others that us as Women & Mothers ( and future mothers to be) can really live without!

We are constantly judged & why, why cant we all make our choices for what is right for us as our own family & individuals without having to be made to feel guilty or pressure to conform to someone else's beliefs because that's what thay want & have chosen for themselves & their family???...

I would never say to anyone with 1 child that I disagree, or think they've made a wrong choice or are poor parents for choosing 1, I'd never make a comment to any family who choose to have 10 kids that their choices are wrong as they are selfish or havent thought of finances or anything else that society believes!
I believe it is wrong & rude for me to make such judgement of another person.

I think each person should be allowed the right to make their own choices about when, how, why & how many children they choose or dont choose to have without worrying about what someone else will think...

I have close friends IRL & thru BB that are trying for baby #1 & some have been trying for many many years! I can asssure you that not one of them would ever want myself or anyone else they care about to stop having children to make their lives better, do you honestly believe that people facing problems concieving 1 baby would be happier that I stopped at 1 or 2???

It's not like there are only 300 babies allowed to be created in a year & so if I stop at 1 or 2 someone else can have my spares???


Sorry for my emotive post I am just baffled