Our DD is 2.5yrs too and has only recently accepted bedtime, despite us having a very calming bath / book / cuddle routine in place for 2 years... She went through a big phase of refusing to go to sleep, and we ended up co-sleeping which we were OK with, but before I had #2 we tried so hard to get her to sleep in her own bed, and go to bed at a reasonable hour. I so hear your pain!!

What has worked for us is making a HUGE deal about how good she is to sleep in her own bed. I made a story book with photos of her asleep - right from when she was a baby to now.. just wrote a little story about how she is a big girl and big girls sleep in their own beds, and she can come in to Mummy's bed for little cuddles if she needs to but they she has to go back to her own bed... I covered the book with fluffy material and glittery stars, and she LOVES it. Wants to read it all the time. We also made a big deal about telling people (visitors, friends, childcare teachers etc) "DD was SUUUUCCCH a good girl last night, she slept in her own bed ALL night".. Now when we put her in to bed she wants to know who we are going to tell! If its a childcare day coming up I say "tomorrow I am going to tell Miss Gemma that you were sooooo good and slept in your own bed all night", and DD will remind me to tell her carer as we drive in to the centre! She loves stories about herself, so if she is being stubborn and crying and not settling, I will often sit with her in her room and tell her a story about what she has done throughout the day, and about how clever she was (lots of positive stuff), this seems to calm her down. Then end the story with how good she is to go to sleep in her own bed.

Sorry for long rambling reply. This is all very fresh for us and I totally understand about stressing relationships. My DH is similar and was wanting to let her cry it out, but fortunately we have avoided that and things seem to be going well now. Just in the nick of time, as we had a new baby 3 weeks ago and now he is in our bed and keeping us up late!

Good luck and big hugs. x