Being consistent and persistent really are the keys I think.....

Perhaps you could start certain bed-time rituals with her, i.e. a wind down cuddle and a special 'sleepy time' book, sleepy words "time for sleep, love you" as well as the necessary patting/comforting (we have always preferred to do this in the cot/bed too).

It does take time like the others have said, and a sleeping bag may be another sleep 'cue' for Emma if you start to use it.

In terms of the patting, we always did exactly what Christy did with Matilda, i.e. lying Jacob on his side, one hand on his shoulder, the other patting his bottom.