Hey PZ. I have a suggestion that you may want to try which worked for us. It sounds similar to CIO but is actually very different. You know how in CIO you put them in their cot and leave them for increasing amounts of time while they cry (grizzle etc.)? Well what we did was pop DS in the cot and cuddle or pat him till he was happy. Then I would take off my hand for a few seconds and before he could start to cry, I would start to pat/cuddle again. Then I would do it again but would slightly increase the time that I wasn't cuddling/patting etc. The key is to always get back to them before they cry or get upset. You can then create an anticipation in them that you will be coming back, and you can build up the time that you are away from them. If your DD already has a strong aversion to the cot (e.g. you can't put her down at all) then I would start doing this in more of a neutral/positive territory like your bed, or a new bed. While you are still in the new stages of doing this, you can stay in their room and just keep busy with folding nappies, or something so you are not totally focused on them but they know you are still around, making sure you give them some gentle (not too exciting) encouragement every now and then that you are still around, like humming. Over time you can build them up to a self-settling state but using a totally different psychological mechanism than CIO. This way, they learn to believe you will be coming back and they don't need to cry to have you return. Once DS was about 2 he was even really good at self settling in other people's houses because he could trust that when I said I would come back and check, that I would. Anyway, it may be something to try Hope this helps.