Newborn - only sleeping on me...

[nataliew]

Thank you all so much for the support and encouragement - I really, really need it.
All the books are telling me 'awake time for an hour, sleep time for 3 hours and start again' but my bubs just not fitting in with that schedule. Nor is he responding to rocking, sushing and then peacefully falling asleep in his bed. I just feel like crying 24/7.
What I need is to find somewhere he will go for even 15 minutes so that I can get a shower in/washing done etc.
This is all so different to how I thought it would be. I really need to get my head around it and start being positive. I know this is not forever but right now I just feel stuck and so overwhelmed.
Again, thank you so much for giving me some positive feedback.

[Spring Angel]

Oh hun, I hear you. Those first few months were a complete blur to me. Is there anyone who can give you a hand with bubs so that you can take a hot shower and even catch a few mins of rest? Just hang in there, as the other ladies said it does get easier.

Oh and my advice about those books, ignore them! I got myself worried sick that my bub didn't do what the books said but I just came to accept that all babies are different and your bub is writing his own book.

HTH

Lv Spring

[Willow]

OMG, you sound exactly like me with DS (and Spring can vouch for that!! LOL) You remind me so much of me I want to cry with you!

But PLEASE don't do what I did and become totally stressed out and a nervous wreck. It was so hard for me to stop listening to what all the experts were saying about sleep etc and to just go with the flow. In the end I had no choice but to just go with him because he didn't fit the schedule either, but now 5 months down the track his sleeping has improved out of sight in comparison to those first 3 months. So just because a baby isn't born a great sleeper, doesn't mean they'll always be that way.

I've done it twice now and I PROMISE you, it gets easier, so much easier and while right now you feel like this is never gonig to end, you'll get to where I am now at 5 months and realise that time, while bl**dy hard, was over so quickly - so remember to take the time to enjoy the good moments, to snuggle with him and enjoy being so close to him, in a lot of ways it's such a hard time, but it's also a very special time.

[LuluHB]

Sorry - just had to post again. Please please please ignore those books. I read them all before my DD was born too and worried I was the worst mother in the world because my baby wasn't doing what the books said she should be doing. Unfortunately our babies can't read so we have to play by their rules, not the books!!

Willow is right - it does get so much easier. The first few weeks of having a baby can be the most frustrating, depressing and disappointing - I felt I was doing everything wrong and on more than one occasion wondered how my baby would survive my incompetence. BUT in no time at all, just a couple of months, you will find that your own intuition is what you need to listen to. Nobody knows your baby like you do so trust your instincts. They are all different so just because one baby is doing one thing, it doesn't make your baby "wrong" by doing something completely different. Hang in there, and in no time you too will feel like one of those women where everything comes naturally and easily.

[KatieRabbit]

I'm posting again too! Like Willow, i8t all sounds too familiar. I thought I had been conned big time- I was supposed to feel like a mother yet I was stressed, tired, sure I had a baby with something wrong (cos she wouldn't sleep!), breastfeeding was difficult and I actually think I was in shock at the changes in my life that was out of control. But take heart Natalie. Those feelings have well gone and DD is only 4 months old. Still adapting to life with DD at home after years of study and professional fulltime work. But worth every minute. Forget the books- no-one's baby follows them. They are often out of touch with reality. And the feelings of being overwhelmed and stuck are so so normal. I wish people spoke out more about how hard it is with a baby. I have friends with babies who still can't say "It's very hard" or "I can't cope", and I think what is so wrong with admitting it is hard?? It is like a conspiracy not to let pregnant women know! Hang in there. We are here for you. PS Why don't you put your son in the cot/hammock/floor etc and jump in the shower, even if he is awake? It's hard at first but have a 2 minute shower to feel better and he will be fine in a safe place awake.

[sneakysparkle]

Hey Natalie,
I just wanted to totally agree with what has already been said - IGNORE THE BOOKS! Breastmilk is designed to help babies sleep! And babies need their mummy. I always fed my DD to sleep - day and night, and she would sleep on me/next to me for day sleeps. I too had problems going to the toilet/having a shower, but would just put her next to me in her rocker
I had people saying "you're making a rod for your own back" etc etc but I ignored them because it was working! I'm so glad I just did what felt right because she is a very relaxed and happy 14mth old now. I fed her to sleep till I weaned her a month ago, and since then she has been old enough (and I believe secure enough) to go to sleep on her own - without crying.
Please be encouraged that you are doing the right thing
Hang in there darl, and try to enjoy this special time.

[Lulu]

Oh yeah, prop him on the floor and have a shower if worst comes to worst.

Some days I gave in, had a quick shower, made my bed, put on fresh jarmies and sat in bed with him all day. Just feed and doze, stare out the window. Looking back those days were the ones I remember as so calm and snuggly. It's ok to do that you know.

If you get visitors handpass the baby, jump in the shower and get them to help fold your washing. Visitors to my house have to work in the early days!