question for those who have bub in a bassinette in their room and your DH/DP

[trishalishous]

We happily cosleep, and in the early days DH would get up for feeds, and do the nappy change while I ran to to the loo. I feed laying down in bed once they are past newborn stage.
We have a nightlight on, so the room is never 100% dark.

[kelsbels]

Dh stirs, rolls away from the light and goes back to sleep! Agree with pp, when it's him getting up at night, he can choose where ds sleeps.
In saying that, DS is a good night sleeper and easy to resettle at the moment so if/when that changes, might be a different story.

Oh, but We don't co-sleep, I have DS in bassinet right next to my bed.

[Novella]

DH is a light sleeper and has to get up at 4 .30 for work so he is sleeping in the spare room for now. DD3 is really noisy too but I'm tuned into her now and can sleep through the general noise and wake up to the important noises. Sometimes DH sleeps with us but puts ear plugs in. I turn the Wadrobe light on with the door almost shut to see for nappy changes. The first feed I do on the lounge as dd is liely to settle better if we sit up a big before bed and I get lazy in bed and don't sit up straight enough. The only light we use in the lounge though is from my iPad.

Phebee feeding lying down I don't put bubs on the edge of the bed I can feed with both bb's while facing the same direction. I normally lie on my side and feed the bb closest to the mattress then roll my top shoulder a bit and feed with my top bb ITMS maybe having a bit of a sag in the boobs after three kids helps

[Loveinamist]

I didn't even think about it. If DH needed sleep he knew where to go to get it. He is an adult and wasn't breastfeeding. My tiny baby was my first concern. A nightlight helped with nighttime nappy changes. It was snowing outside when DS was tiny...I was not leaving my warm bedroom for any reason!!!

[Nai]

Dp didn't even stir unless I kicked him, repeatedly! After a week or so I didn't even bother trying to get him up to help, so he slept through pretty much everything. He can still sleep through the girls crying during the night.

[Jellyfish]

DP doesn't stir unless I physically try to wake him and we co-sleep but don't change nappies overnight unless DD2 does a poo (I just use a size bigger nappy) which she hasn't done since she was a few weeks old. She never really cries or anything, just sort of stirs and then I attach her till she settles again without DP even noticing.

[Doing my best]

My DH was used to sleeping through things as he is a shiftworker.. I used to be up for an hr with a non-settling bub, and it wasn't until I would go back in and physically rock/tap him he would wake up.. The baby could've been squealing in his ear if I didn't wake him.. But he was totally different if I was in another room though, he would wake to baby.

[phebee]

I am envious of you all. We have a tiny little box house with no room for another bed. The couches are far too uncomfortAble to lie on. DH is a very light sleeper and is the worker ATM. I have no choice but to feed DD in the lounge. I have been feeding / trying to resettle her for 1.5 hours now. DH's alarm has just gone off.


Sent from my iPod touch - sorry for any mistakes!

[briggsy's girl]

DH used to get up, pass DD to me (cot on his side of the bed, grab a nappy, then lay there holding her hand while i changed her (or change her while i held her hand/stroked hair etc). once nappy was changed, i'd lay down to feed her, and he'd take the dirty nappy to the laundry and come back into the room. DD fed to sleep most of the time, so he'd lay there facing us and go back to sleep. i would lay with my arm over her head and down beside her whichever way we were facing, so that i was either creating a barrier between her and Daddy (he never rolled towards her, but when he worked away and would get home, exhausted, in the wee hours, it was a precaution. when she was on the other side of the bed, he'd lay right on the edge of the bed and drag me close to him - i think she ended up with nearly half the bed! When DD was asleep again, he'd put her back in her own bed. he never whinged about lack of sleep or anything

now that she is older, she still rooms in with us. our house is very long, and neither one of us wanted to get up in the cold to go to her when she was waking in the night when we first moved here. if she wakes, DH is still the one to get up to her - even though her bed is on my side fo the room! He is the SAHP now, and will try and resettle her without disturbing me too much. not that it works - i am still awake the whole time she is - but it's nice that he does it!

he's never complained about it at all. in fact, he told his bestie "we brought her into the world together, we'll both do the parenting - even the bad bits like midnight wake ups"!

when he worked away, i did it all solo, but the minute he was home again,he just stepped in. he didn't have to - i could have continued doing it - but he wanted to

so i guess after all that waffle! there is no issue for us with lost sleep due to bub. we've both been the sahp while the other works, and we simply accept that it is what it is. sometimes you don't get a full night sleep...

[beansbeans!]

Im sorry, but in my house we are in it together. Our girls stay in our room until 1yr+. The night time feeds, dh would get up change nappy and have a cuddle while I went to the loo and then got myself ready for a feed. he then kept me company whilst I fed, especially when i was so sleepy that i was falling asleep. As they got older, dh just got used to it and would sleep through it. If we were more tired than usual, we would go to bed earlier than normal.

As so co-sleeping and feeding when they were on the outside i would lay in the middlee of the bed so it was comfortable and safe to feed. But to be honest i prefer them sleeping on the outside because it means I can get a cuddle from dh and the bub has more room to sleep

[~me~]

Dp didn't even stir unless I kicked him, repeatedly! After a week or so I didn't even bother trying to get him up to help, so he slept through pretty much everything. He can still sleep through the girls crying during the night.

Yep same here! He would often wake in the morning and ask "how was your night dear?"

I kept the bassinet in the room for convenience to start with. I preferred to get up and get out of the room to feed and change baby. I like the peace and quiet of the night out in my lounge, I had the change table all set up, I didn't have music, TV or anything. It was also light enough to see what I was doing.

[misty]

If my DH has an issue, he knows where the couch is. DH is up just as often as me anyway, either with bubs or with one of the other kids. The way I figure it, my sleep is just as important as DH's - possibly more so, because I am the one caring for the kids all day, driving them in the car etc, so if I slip up because of fatigue it can be extremely dangerous; If DH stuffs up at work, it's not good, but at least it is an office job, so his health shouldn't be directly at risk.

Having said that, I do try not to wake him unnessecarily.

[luna moth]

We never turned on a light, and didn't leave the room at all for the first 8 months of DD's life. She only discovered my bedside lamp on Sunday morning (at 16 months old) and thinks it is the most miraculous thing EVER.

I fed in bed, lying down, all the time. When she moved into her own room, then I fed on the couch in the room between us, and then when we moved house and had room for a feeding chair in her room, I fed there.

Baby Led Attachment is a great way to go to help you trust your baby to get the attachment right by herself. We did this and have neve even had to think about it.

ETA: Our spare bed is in the garage. It's not that comfortable, but that's his choice. He didn't get up for the first 5 months, I didn't ask him to, but now we split it 50-50 (we only get a night waking once a week at most)

[krysalyss]

I always have trouble waking up and DH doesn't so it used to work for us where DH would get up first and do a nappy change, then I would get up and feed, while DH goes back to bed. It wasn't a problem for DH having to get up and he is such a light sleeper that even if DS had been on the other side of the house he would hear him before I would.

[jacklicky]

DH can sleep in the spare room if he is too distracted....but honestly with DD he just slept through it all.....
Im like you if I have to be getting up and attending to bubs all night I want him/her to b e as close to me as possible so Im not freezing either of our butts off!

[EsJay]

thanks for all your replies.
He has only ever got up to DD about half a dozen times in her life, and i can't see it being any different this time around. I have done my fair share of co-sleeping with DD, where we fed laying down, DH has ended up on the lounge these nights as he doesnt believe in co-sleeping, i just thought i might get some good tips to avoid the whole scene between DH and I, arguing over him going to the lounge, bub in our room/bed whatever the case may be at the time. like i said, probably just overthinking it all really, i have told him i'm doing whatever it takes to get a reasonable amount of sleep as i will have 2 now, and will still have to be a responsible parent for DD1 all day while hes at work, and i guess in the end i will just do what it takes, and if he doesnt like it/agree with what im doing, he will just have to find the lounge again, or i will have to invest in a bed that i can use myself.
I was just interested to know what others did when bubs was in their room, to minimise the disruption to their partners and in turn prevent arguments.

[EsJay]

thanks for all your replies.
He has only ever got up to DD about half a dozen times in her life, and i can't see it being any different this time around. I have done my fair share of co-sleeping with DD, where we fed laying down, DH has ended up on the lounge these nights as he doesnt believe in co-sleeping, i just thought i might get some good tips to avoid the whole scene between DH and I, arguing over him going to the lounge, bub in our room/bed whatever the case may be at the time. like i said, probably just overthinking it all really, i have told him i'm doing whatever it takes to get a reasonable amount of sleep as i will have 2 now, and will still have to be a responsible parent for DD1 all day while hes at work, and i guess in the end i will just do what it takes, and if he doesnt like it/agree with what im doing, he will just have to find the lounge again, or i will have to invest in a bed that i can use myself.
I was just interested to know what others did when bubs was in their room, to minimise the disruption to their partners and in turn prevent arguments.

[*Efjay*]

If Mum has to wake for baby, then I don't see why Dad has to stay asleep. I mean here DH rarely did any "afterhours" baby stuff. But if I disturbed him, I disturbed him. Sorry but thats just part of life.
If the baby was having a particularly unsettled night then I would go out of the room & usually come sit on the PC for my own sanity. But I always had a night light for me, a small lamp. This time round I just kept the bathroom light on with the door opened just enough to allow enough light for me to see & then I would push it closed after I changed nappies etc.
We have never had a baby sleep in another room. they are always in bed with us or with in arms reach with out getting out of bed.


If your DH has a problem with being woken, tell him to suck it up.