Is it really my fault that she's clingy?

[fionas]

Call your aunt back and say if it's all about nurture rather than nature then you're going to have words with your grandma for raising her to be such a b***h?

OK, that was a bit harsh and honestly, I can understand how people get these theories. I used to believe the same thing - that it was ALL in the parenting. A naughty toddler was one who hadn't been taught the difference between right and wrong etc. etc.

Now that I have quite a "naughty" child myself, I'm much more inclined to think that kids just come out whatever way they're meant to come out. We can't change their basic nature but we can gently encourage them towards more positive behaviours which work when they're developmentally ready. BTW, I'm not saying that clinginess is a "negative behaviour" at all, just that at some point with a little encouragement and when she's ready, she will become more independent and in the meantime, don't stress.

[willow5]

Call your aunt back and say if it's all about nurture rather than nature then you're going to have words with your grandma for raising her to be such a b***h?

:yeahthat: Love it!
Your Aunt should butt out!

Hi Tilda My answer to your original question is NO. Not your fault at all! I agree with all the posters so far. I've also found it good to read the replies, it's made me feel better about DS3.
He is super clingy, screaming and coming after me 95% of the time when I leave the room, or attempt to. I constantly avoid doing anything while he's awake, which is most of the time. Then if he does decide to amuse himself, (the other 5% of the time) it's by completely destroying or being into something he really shouldn't be, like OceanPrincess described her cyclone, I call DS3 my baby tornado.
All my boys have been different, with DS3 being the most hard work by far. They are how they are and I think you said that your parenting has been shaped by her, well that's exactly how it should be IMO.

You are doing a fantastic job!! She will grow and mature so much between now and when the baby arrives, it will be just fine, might not be a breeze, but it will be fine. I would however decline any more "support" from your aunt!

[Tilda]

Thanks again all! I'll definitely incorporate that into my speech to my aunt Fionas LOL! And I love hearing about how different all your boys are Willow. Such good proof that its sooooo much to do with temperament. I'm over all the finger pointing at the mother. In an act of depleted confidence I went out and bought Toddler Tactics by Pinky McKay today. I seem to already be doing a lot of what she suggests. You gotta love Pinky.