You're putting way too many expectations on her and in turn causing yourself so much stress. Unfortunately it sounds like you've been misled to believe that babies sleep for long periods and easily adjust to routines and that's not the case. Just follow her lead, it's the best thing you can do. If she needs to be held then hold her, put her in a sling and pay bills, tidy and whatever else that can't wait. Have a shower in the evening when your partner is home. Start the day without expectations. Some babies don't need a lot of sleep. If she is not tired there's nothing you can do to make her sleep. She sounds perfectly normal and the one thing I can hear is that your new baby wants to be close to you. She is new to this world, it's big and scary and full of things she knows nothing about. Hold her, rock her, put her in a sling and I bet she will sleep well. In a sling she can feed on demand, sleep when she wants to, listen to your heartbeat (something she has become used to hearing all day every day in your womb), smell you etc. She's so tiny and new, she wants closeness not a bassinet.