Dearest Tasha, I have been there in so many ways.

With DS2, I got so tired, I didn't know whether to scream, weep, or vomit. Add to that my boobs feeling like they were going to fall off, expectations of others, having to go back to work around 8 weeks after DS2 arrived, trying to take care of DS1, the house, meals, finances ... yep, it was really rough. It felt like I was living on fumes, and I felt awful.

I loved my son, I was glad he was there, I just wanted to get enough sleep that I could feel like I was awake and alive and able to get things done!

It took time. A lot of time.

Which was a rude shock, because DS1 slept regularly - but he was the odd one out, in my mothers' group. They had experiences much more like DS2.

One day at a time.

Focus on the essentials - the actual essentials.

Like eating, laying down, and getting some fresh air.

Housework, laundry, the garden - it can all wait.

Reading, TV, social commitments that aren't going to feed your soul and make you happy - can all wait.

Getting photos organised and printed, and thank you cards written - call all wait too.

See if you can find a couple of things that help YOU sleep when you can... I found some classical music (Bond, Holst, Beethoven, etc) sent me straight to sleep... no words, very soothing, mind clear and me asleep in under a minute often. Or a weighted eye mask, a little scented hand cream, or whatever. Find something small which soothes you, but takes no real time to do.

And then every time bub goes down - go straight down too. Even if it's just for 40 minutes, every little bit helps at this stage.

40 minutes of sleep compared to the dishes being done - no contest. Housework can get a look in when you've got two grown ups around - or by any random friends or family who drop by to see you.


And please please please get onto PANDA or somewhere. I'm very concerned you have PND or similar. Everything seems so much worse when you're not getting enough sleep - but please don't assume it's just because of the sleep deprivation, or adjusting to a new baby. Please talk to someone.