But there are heaps of us telling you it IS normal Anything is normal, they're babies, they don't really know what they are supposed to do, its all instinctual for them. What tired signs is she showing when you are trying to put her to sleep? I know my kids had about a 5 minute gap between being tired and overtired. It was a PITA to try and time it right, but eventually you figure it out, or they just get older and better at sleeping!

I don't think you are any different to the rest of us, we would all like a baby that just settles easy, feeds great, goes to sleep on their own for 3-4 hours at a time - of course we would all like that, but its just not reality I'm afraid. Doesn't mean we don't all wish for it, just means that we know its not going to happen so we follow the path of least resistance - and thats the what the baby tells us to do.

Do you have a sling you can pop her in to go around the house and do what you are doing? After a feed I used to put mine in one and just walk around doing household stuff or playing with the other kids - and most of the time the baby would go to sleep. I didn't follow a certain schedule or anything, if baby was hungry I fed it. If it was tired I would try for 15 minutes to rock it to sleep if it didn't want a feed. If it was overtired - out came the sling and I popped on some music and just relaxed.

Its very possible that you are misreading her cues - I did the dunstan baby language stuff and that helped me HEAPS in the early days. Have you looked it up on youtube or can get the dvd's or something? It really helped me learn their cues properly and I was wrong with most of them!

ETA - I'm one of those mothers who showers at night. In the early days it was great to give the baby to DH and know that they were safe and I could go and shower in peace and relax after a crappy day. Now I still do it, but its to get away from the toddlers that want to shower with me when all I want to do is chill out for a little bit and enjoy a bit of "me" time.