Negrita - I hear you! I used to spend a lot of his awake time hanging out for nap times, and then feeling guilty for wanting him to go to sleep! Do you take DD into the toilet with you? DS comes with me but still cracks it and cries about 85% of the time. As for nap times, I now 'schedule' 20 mins or so 'me' time as soon as DS goes down for a nap. Some days I just sit with a cuppa, some days I read or do my nails - as long as it's something that I choose. It makes me feel like I'm in control iykwim. Please don't feel bad for feeling the way you do. I think your feelings are legitimate. And you are not alone in having them.

My other tip as I said in a pp, is to try to just go with what your LO wants. The more I try to do other stuff or wish I had a little more freedom, the worse I feel. The more I include DS in my everyday routine, the happier we both are - he seems to almost forget for a while that he's not actually attached to me if he has something to occupy him! And, things have improved SOOOOO much in the last few months, so hang in there. I try to work out the things we can do together (even if it takes three or four times longer than it usually would) and do those when DS is awake. The other stuff I do when he's asleep. He sits on the kitchen bench while I prepare dinner. He hands me the cutlery/pegs when I empty the dishwasher/hang the clothes (or just plays with the pegs). I also find if I say something like "You can help Mummy fold the clothes or you can play with your blocks next to me" then get out his blocks, put them right next to me and help him 'start' playing that he'll play for a few minutes (with me constantly talking to him). I know your DD is younger than my DS, so is probably a little young to 'get' some of the above, but if you start now, she might respond in time....maybe
Thanks hun - on a good day i can get to the loo on my own, but usually DD2 is with me, in the Ergo. I do include her in my everyday activities (cooking, washing etc), i mean she practically lives in the Ergo on me, i just don't like it but it keeps her from screaming like a banshee, so i do what i have to do! I just feel like i neglect my DD1 because DD2 is so demanding. my Dh works afternoon shift (3-11pm) so im on my own for the feral hours and thats when i find it the hardest....i know she won't always be like this (at least thats what im telling myself!!) and mostly i do just try to go with whatever she wants, but i just feel so blah sometimes

New Velcro baby here!! Ds is only two weeks but I can already see the same old pattern forming!! Great great great night sleeper in fact I get a good 7 hour stretch out of him. But means he cluster feeds and cat naps pretty much all day long!! I have never gotten the hang of baby wearing so it makes it very frustrating when needing to do daily tasks and tend to my other 3 boys!!
Big hun, its hardwork isn't it?! i've only got 2 DD's and im struggling, so i don't know how you do it with a newborn plus your additional 3!!! - what kind of carrier have you got?