My Mum was great - reassuring, gave advice when asked, but generally told me I was doing a great job and gave us space when needed, and helped with things like shopping etc. Came and finished all my cooking (I went into labour mid 'cook up' to fill my freezer with meals for after babies arrival). I think the best thing grandparents can do is offer lots of reassurance and hold their tongue if they dont agree with something. And pratical help for the sleep deprived parents is so appreciated - meals cooked, washing folded, bathroom cleaned etc.

MIL - useless - basically had to be waited on hand and foot so SHE could have cuddles, had to be told to stop dropping in unannounced at innappropriate times and said things like "You'll spoil him" when I picked up a crying 2 week old, and told me that I could breastfeed in their bedroom for privacy when we did the right thing and visited, er ok? Needless to say she has limited influence over DS now