Hey Spring. I've soooo been there, and still am at times.
I remember at around 3.5 - 4 months DD decided that she just wouldn't settle in my arms. So I started to settle her in the cot. She still cried and took a while to settle, but she didn't 'wrestle' with me as much - she stayed still on her side and seemed to be vaguely soothed by the regular rhythm of the patting. This was a good compromise for us, as when she was that little I wasn't keen on letting her cry on her own.
I realise some babies just *hate* being patted and they wriggle and squirm and get quite cross (my own DD went through a phase of this too, closer to 7 months), so if you're little one is in that category then this wont be helpful at all. But, I just thought I'd share and let you know that I hope things get better for you guys really soon.